


Are You Really Homies If You Haven't Kissed?

by RyderWryter



Series: How To Take Care Of Your Homie [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Best Friends, Big Brother Shiro (Voltron), Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Cheating, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Cuddling, Dense Keith, Drinking, Drunken Confessions, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends can kiss!, Friends to Lovers, Gay Keith (Voltron), Halfway confessions, Happy Ending, Hunk (Voltron) is a Good Friend, I can't believe I forgot to tag that, Keith & Shiro (Voltron) are Siblings, Keith (Voltron) Has Anxiety, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Keith gets a lil turned on from being chased?, Keith giggles, Keith is a good brother, Keith is actually good at this, Korean Keith (Voltron), Lance is a real homie, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pidge is a good friend, Pizza, Roommates, Samoan Hunk (Voltron), Sexual Tension, Some texting, Underage Drinking, a deal is made, anxiety attack in chapter 7, art in chapter six, as homies, background shallura - Freeform, but something happens, competitive bois, disaster shiro, i like suffering, lance misses keith, library kisses, oblivious boys, shiro needs to self reflect, they're like 20
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:21:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 39,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22335478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyderWryter/pseuds/RyderWryter
Summary: Keith leaned his head back to rest it against the wall, eyes closed. “Well, at least there will be more guys there.” He murmured.“What? Trying to find a boyfriend?” Lance scoffed, crossing his arms. “You barely have any extra time for me, what makes you think you have the time for a boyfriend?”Keith opened his eyes slightly to glance over at his pouting friend. “What? You jealous?” He smirked...
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Series: How To Take Care Of Your Homie [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1677847
Comments: 104
Kudos: 436





	1. Procrastination At Its Finest

**Author's Note:**

> This was honestly supposed to be a one-shot less than 10k for some friends, but it just didn’t work out that way. It's 18k at the moment, but I’m trying for 20k at the most. But who knows if that’s really what’s gonna happen?! I just had an idea that would make it another chapter longer, so we'll see what happens... *finger guns* thanks for checkin' it out! ;D

The rustling of dead leaves along concrete sidewalks sounded as a late autumn breeze made its way across the campus. It picked up light rubbish and tumbled loose papers in its path. Despite the dance it made with the debris, it hardly fazed the lone student that walked in its presence. The air was gradually taking on a sharper chill, causing the need for extra layers and warmer hats. But black boots traversed the empty courtyard with hardly anything but a light jacket for warmth. The wind thrashed through the undergraduate’s long, black locks in an attempt for a reaction. The pale boy just continued his comfortable pace, unperturbed by the air current’s actions.

The setting sun of a Friday explained the lack of populace that had usually crowded the small college’s walkways. The classrooms were deserted and the student’s lounge had been unnaturally quiet. Even the extra students for the night classes hadn’t arrived yet, leaving the school grounds in a bizarre atmosphere of silence. The ghost town of a college campus was eerie, but Keith didn’t mind it. He continued his trek toward his beaten up Honda Civic. He swore that it had been a vibrant red at one point in its life, but now sported a dirty burgundy color.

It was his ole reliable.

While other students were already off relaxing in their dorms, getting ready for the biggest party on the block, or working the afternoon shift of a part-time job, Keith had been caught up in the hectic finishings of an assignment he had been proactively procrastinating. It wasn’t until the day of had he even started it, and, since it was due at midnight, had raced to finish it. He knew he would’ve gotten distracted if he were to complete the paper at his crowded apartment, so he had to get it done at school. Which meant working on it since the painfully early hours of the morning, after his first, and only, Friday lecture.

The indigo eyed student sighed as the deep red and purples accompanying the disappearing sun swirled with the promise of darkness. His brain was practically fried with overuse and the stress of rushing. He didn’t necessarily  _ like _ procrastinating, but he could never find it in himself to start an assignment early… or on time. It was like every instance that he began to work on a paper at a normal moment, his body would shut down. It became hard to keep his eyes open and his brain focusing. It wasn’t until the adrenaline of irresponsibility rushed through him that was he able to work with an unnatural concentration. 

It usually worked out, and because it did it just encouraged him to keep on procrastinating. It was a vicious cycle.

He felt rather confident in his thesis of this particular paper. It was clear, concise, and easy to write about. His footsteps felt light as he left the English building behind. All that was left was the final proofreading of his completed work, and he figured he would be able to manage that much at his apartment. Even if his roommates could be awfully loud and disruptive. The one with beautiful blue eyes and a laugh that rang like famous church bells was especially distracting. 

Not that he would ever admit that to the tan boy. He had been friends with Lance since their freshman year of high school, so revealing his  _ slight _ feelings would ruin their entire dynamic, not to mention the friend group. Their friends, Hunk and Pidge, had also been with them since high school. Keith hadn’t had many classes with them so he never spoke to the interesting duo until his sophomore year when Lance had brought them all together. Because that was very much like the sociable, outgoing Cuban boy that Keith’s gay ass was in love with…wait, - _ loved _ ! Like  _ platonically. _ He only  _ liked _ Lance, he wasn’t  _ in love _ with him… he wouldn’t allow himself such a perverse feeling about his close friend.

Clearly, Keith was a masochist.

He allowed himself the happiness of enjoying their friendship, but always made sure he never crossed the line with Lance. It was extremely difficult due to the tan boy’s incessant need to be constantly touchy and affectionate with him. It always resulted in a bittersweet ache of his lonely, longing heart. He just had to squash the little sprouts of hope that would bud in his chest with logic.  _ Lance is just an outgoing, expressive individual who enjoys hugging and cuddling his friends. _ It wasn’t because he liked touching Keith specifically. He hugged Hunk all the time, and Keith was sure he’d hug Pidge just as much if she had let him, but her piercing glares were deadly.

He felt incredibly relieved that he didn’t live alone with Lance. It was already getting increasingly difficult to keep up his avoidance of any alone time with the brunette. Which didn’t go unnoticed by his best friend. Lance was stubborn and demanding with his close friends, and if he thought he wasn’t getting enough time with one of them, then by god he would let them know.

As if the gods had heard his inner turmoil of how he could sneak to his room without Lance dragging him away to hangout, his phone buzzed. And buzzed and buzzed. It vibrated so much he had to check to see if he was getting a call.

He wasn’t. 

It was just a string of texts from his blue eyed best friend.

**Lance:** soooo

**Lance:** bc I’m ur bestie

**Lance:** ur not allowed to say no

**Lance:** we’re goin out tonight

**Lance:** n ur 100 % coming bc I haven’t seen u in like *･ﾟ~:* forever *:~･ﾟ* 

Keith could never figure out how he made those sparkles.

**Lance:** EVEN THOGUH WE LIVE TOGHETER!!!

**Lance:** so

**Lance:** no ifs ands or butts 

**Lance:** well maybe butts bc i need ur butt to come with us ;)

Keith shook his head. 

A smile snuck onto his face as he typed out his reply.

**Keith:** sry, I have an assignment due tonight…

He didn’t have to wait long before his phone was buzzing with a new round of texts.

**Lance:** hmm ooooh wow that’s reaaaally shitty ya know

**Lance:** i feel bad for ur prof

**Lance:** they’re gonna be so sad when u don’t turn it in

**Lance:** bc ur gonna be too busy being a good friend 

**Lance:** when will u be home? Ur bro is picking us up around 9

Keith’s brother, Shiro, was his first friend. He was two years older than him and exuded a confidence that Keith wished he would gain someday. It was hardly fair that they were—supposedly—from the same family, but so incredibly different. Keith had always felt like he was adopted. Shiro was a glorious college senior who was loved by his peers, fearless with public speaking, and undeniably a diligent and hardworking student. While Keith was a depressed, anxiety-riddled, gay boy who was in denial about the strong feelings he had for his best friend. 

**Keith:** … I suppose I could finish before 9

What could he say? He was weak.

**Lance:** THATS WAHT IM TALKIN BOUT BOIIIIIII

**Lance:** we r gonna have so much fun! Just u wait

**Lance:** ugh finally

**Lance:** I feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks, dude

He wasn’t too far off. Keith had been actively trying to avoid Lance for a couple of months. It just happened when his feelings had become too unbearable and overwhelming in the constant presence of his beautiful best friend. It was only several months after getting an apartment together, along with Hunk, for their sophomore year in college. Pidge was conveniently located down the hall with her mom. 

She was still too young to live on her own just yet. She had graduated high school two years early, which she always claimed was an act of laziness. That she could’ve done it sooner had she not gone through her phase of teen angst and rebellion. She said she was quite the classic emo kid. Keith never could picture Pidge with dark smudgy eyeliner and tight skinny jeans… like himself. 

He had never really grown out of the skinny jeans look. He just really liked the way it looked with his combat boots and who was he kidding, he would always be a little emo. It had also helped that Keith had stunned Lance into an unnatural silence with a particularly attractive dark grey pair that hugged _all_ _the right places_. Somehow, the compliment didn’t quite register in Keith’s brain as anything more than just a friendly statement.

**Lance:** I’m starting to have withdrawals

**Lance:** u know i need my keithy boy buddy time

**Lance:** stop holding out on me

**Keith:** I know, I’m sorry. Assignments have been keeping me pretty busy lately. I’ll be home soon.

Keith pocketed his phone then gripped the left strap of his dull red backpack as his feet followed the familiar winding sidewalk. Inside the old canvas bag was his laptop, a few notebooks, and some extra writing utensils. But the most important item was the dark purple pocket knife his dad had given him before he had left for college. He read too many true crime articles, but Keith had been thankful for the gift nonetheless. It was a hand-me-down, much like most of the things in his life, but this one was special. It had belonged to his mother, who had passed away before Keith was old enough to remember her face.

His dad lived an hour’s drive away, and constantly reminded his sons that they needed to visit more. Keith usually had to be dragged back by Shiro. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to visit his dad. He just had a lot going on. It was already hard enough to manage his time with all the assignments, projects, papers, and everything else the college experience deemed necessary.

His thoughts were distracted by more buzzing from his pocket. Keith ignored them in favor of unlocking his car and sliding into the driver’s seat. He took a breath, resting his head back. It wasn’t a massive assignment, but luckily he was able to finish it. He just needed to get home to do the final proofread and he would be done. He would be done and he could finally spend some time with his friends.

It was long overdue.

He started his car and drove through the barren parking lot. 

The sun was almost completely below the horizon. Dozens of sensored lamps surrounding the empty spaces and sidewalks lit up with the lack of sunlight. Keith finally reached the end of the lot and made his way home. To his best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter was so short. The next one will be twice as long <3 Thanks for reading! :) ((Also, if we're analyzing chapter titles here, yes, "Procrastinating At Its Finest" does have more than one meaning mwhahaa! Which sounds like an evil laugh, but I'm just dumb and excited for no reason))


	2. Both Liquid Courage And An Unhealthy Coping Mechanism

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here is a ~6.5k chapter to make up for the last chapter's length <3  
> I would also like to preface this chapter by saying Lance just really, really likes having his friends close. Keith in particular. Romantic feelings? Ppssshhhh... you'll have to read on to find out. Mwahahhaaha, I'm sorry. Thank you and I hope you enjoy :D

Keith took a breath as he stood in front of the familiar apartment door. It was an old, yet sturdy, slab of wood. The rusted silver numbers, 305, hung from the upper center of it, confirming that, yes, this  _ was _ the apartment Keith lived in with his two friends. That, behind it, there were two people who mattered a hell of a lot to him. Even though they tended to be on the rowdy and disruptive side.

He braced himself for the high possibility of running into his friends before he could make it to the safety of his room. All he needed to do was quietly slip away and finish his proofreading so he could dedicate his remaining time to his friends. Because, yeah, Keith had been doing a pretty shitty job in that department as of late. Especially when it came to Lance.

He just needed to get over himself. His feelings would always be there, and while that was horrible in and of itself, his friendship with Lance was more precious than his stupid crush—which was probably, most definitely, more than a crush.  _ But this isn’t about me! It’s about being a good friend again, _ Keith told himself.

The time spent avoiding his best friend had helped calm him down a little. Albeit, not as much as Keith had hoped, but it was still a step in the “right” direction. He would have to handle seeing Lance without wanting to caress his face, thinking about holding him and never letting go, or getting lost in those deep blue eyes, which was nearly an impossible feat.

It was probably doable.

It would have to be.

He stuck his key into the bottom lock, but didn’t even get the chance to turn it before both locks were being haphazardly twisted from the other side. The door flew open so hastily that the breeze flipped up Keith’s hair.

There was a blur of motion then warmth. A strong, grounding warmth that made Keith’s stomach flip and his breath catch in his throat. His brain processed the feeling of toned muscular arms wrapped around him and the scent of coconut in the soft brunette locks that nuzzled his face. He felt the unbelievable warmth of tan skin on him. It was almost too warm for the boy who was used to the cold, but completely satisfying in a way that only Lance’s contact could make him feel. Keith just hoped his best friend couldn’t feel how hard his heart was beating.

Lance’s bright grin turned lopsided, impossibly flirtatious, as he leaned away to look into Keith’s eyes. It sent tingles straight to his weak heart. The bittersweet pangs hit pathetically instantaneous. “Long time no see, stranger.”

Keith huffed a laugh as he pushed past Lance to enter their apartment. He couldn’t stand another second of looking at his best friend’s enticing smile and fond eyes. It was hard to look at the raw emotion that swirled in the deep blue tides. His heart was already going crazy from the hug. Keith wasn’t likely to admit to himself that his reactions were probably because he was falling for his best friend more and more each day. It also hadn’t helped that he truly missed Lance. Avoiding him was just as awful for him, if not more so, than it was for Lance. 

“It hasn’t been that long.” Keith fought a smile. “I saw you last week.” 

He rolled his eyes at Lance’s dramatic expression as he made his way to his room. 

Lance followed him, close on his heels. “For like TWO seconds! That doesn’t count, Keith.” His arms waved around to accentuate his point.

The old backpack was removed from his shoulders to rest on the bed as he sighed. “Well, let me finish this up, then you can do what you want with me.” He turned around to throw a joking smirk at Lance just in time to see the grin forming on the taller boy’s face. Keith ducked his head to hide the blush spreading across his cheeks. How the hell did he make himself blush? It was just a joke, but Lance’s bright reaction made his heart soar.

Lance was hardly fazed by his suggestive words, just oddly pleased. Although, he probably should’ve known it was futile to get a shocked reaction out of his friend. Lance was always the person to make other people nervous, not get nervous himself. Keith thought it would be extremely satisfying if he could make Lance as flustered as he made him all the time. Just once.

One day he would surely succeed.

But for now, Lance would be the one who continued to make Keith blush and trip over his tongue anytime he even so much as glanced at him with flirty eyes. It  _ was _ kind of his thing.

Keith cleared his throat when Lance made no effort to leave. “I’ll probably get done quicker if you’re not in here distracting me.” He said as he propped a pillow behind his back and sat against the wall on his bed. 

Lance sat on the edge of Keith’s bed, waggling his eyebrows. “So I’m a distraction? A good one I hope.” He smirked, leaning in closer to where Keith was pulling out his laptop.

Keith’s heart jumped at his flirtatious nature, but he outwardly snorted. “Only because you can be loud and obnoxious. There’s no way anyone could concentrate with such a talkative person yapping their ear off.” He smirked at Lance’s shocked and feigned hurt expression as he opened his laptop and typed in his password.

“First of all! Anyone would be so  _ lucky _ to have me ‘yap’ their ear off.”—Keith nodded, pretending to listen intently as he pulled up his document—“And secondly, I promise I won’t talk.” That made Keith look up, puzzled. Lance looked at him with a pleading expression. “I… I haven’t seen you in a long time. Can I just sit in here? I’ll just watch you read or something.”

Keith raised an eyebrow. “Because that’s not creepy at all.” He snorted.

“Keeeith,” Lance whined. “Please? I won’t watch you read. I’ll just sit next to you and play on my phone or something. Or! I could get my own laptop and work on an assignment! We can be productive together.” He beamed.

Keith sighed. “Okay. As long as you’re being productive.” He complied, unable to really resist his best friend’s soft blue eyes and awfully adorable pout.

Lance was sprinting out of Keith’s room with a grin, quickly turning to his left to enter the room next door. His own room. Because fate was a funny thing and sleeping in the room next to his best friend/crush was something destiny thought would be entertaining. It wasn’t. Keith suffered every time he heard Lance’s little yawns before bed or his morning moans as he stretched. 

The walls were upsettingly thin.

Lance returned a few moments later with his own laptop in hand. He positioned a pillow against the wall next to Keith and plopped down as close as he could. He opened his laptop and began typing away.

As Lance had promised, they worked in silence. Even so, Keith had to make an effort to concentrate on his own work. He was entirely too conscious of the fact that Lance’s right leg was pressed flush against his left and their arms constantly brushed against each other. But that was just how Lance was. He preferred to be as close as he could with his friends. Keith couldn’t argue that he secretly loved it.

Eventually, he was able to finish his proofreading and only had a few mistakes to fix. It was around eight when he turned his paper in online and let out a relieved sigh. Lance shifted his weight to lean against Keith, resting his head on his shoulder. Keith tried to stay relaxed on the outside while his heart picked up with nervous excitement for the third time that day.

Lance spoke up as Keith put away his laptop. “That took you way too long to finish, dude.”—Keith shoved him gently, making Lance chuckle—“Now that you’re done we should get ready before Shiro comes to pick us up.” 

Keith sighed. “Where are we going tonight? Another sorority party?” 

“Absolutely not.” Lance huffed. “I am repulsed you think so little of me! We are going to a  _ frat _ party this time.” He smirked as Keith rolled his eyes.

Keith leaned his head back to rest it against the wall, eyes closed. “Well, at least there will be more guys there.” He murmured.

“What? Trying to find a boyfriend?” Lance scoffed, sitting up and crossing his arms. “You barely have any extra time for  _ me _ , what makes you think you have the time for a boyfriend?”

That would’ve been a good question had Keith actually wanted one.

Keith opened his eyes slightly to glance over at his pouting friend. “What? You jealous?” He smirked, expecting Lance to laugh and let the comment roll off his back like he usually would with any of Keith’s teasing.

But, for some reason, that didn’t happen.

Keith noticed a slight redness to the freckled tan skin of Lance’s face. He was silent for a few moments before answering. “Maybe… You barely see me as it is! If you get a boyfriend… I think I would die.”

It was senior year of high school when Keith had finally told Lance that he liked guys. He thought graduation meant the end of their friendship. That they would be separated, possibly to different sides of the country, so he figured he could take a chance. He would see how Lance responded and maybe actually tell him how he felt, but that never happened. 

Lance reacted with understanding and was actually quite excited when Keith admitted it. He was extremely supportive and ended up telling Keith that he was bisexual. They bonded over their confiding in each other. The moment was so perfect that Keith didn’t want to ruin it with his confession. So he kept his feelings to himself. Lance was his best friend and distance wasn’t going to change that.

It wasn’t until months after their talk did Keith realize that Lance had even applied to the same college he was accepted to, and was accepted himself. Hope had blossomed in Keith’s chest. If Lance chose his school then they would be together longer. It would have been a dream come true for him, and for some reason, it was his reality. Lance had chosen  _ his _ college. Out of all his options, he chose to go to the one Keith was at. Perhaps it was because Hunk, and even Pidge, had decided to go to the same one.

It was also a really great option. It was a smaller school with a beautiful campus, decent class sizes, a large science presence (that attracted Pidge’s attention), and was well known for their brilliant professors. Keith had really only decided on it because Shiro had already been there and it was only an hour away from home. He hadn’t even expected to get in, but received an acceptance letter not too long after applying.

His little gay heart had beat with the excitement of spending four more years with his best friend.

Keith laughed. “Don’t be so dramatic. I would make time for you.” He reached over to pat Lance’s arm.

His best friend scoffed. “Yeah, sure. Like you make time for me  _ now _ .” He murmured.

Keith sat up and gave Lance a genuine expression. “I’m sorry.”—Lance looked up at him with a small pout, but soft eyes—“I’ll do better with my time management so you won’t have to suffer.” He took on a lopsided smile as Lance’s face visibly lightened, but he still pretended to sulk.

He considered Keith’s offer with inquisition. “Hmmm… and you won’t get a boyfriend?”

Keith just rolled his eyes. “What is so wrong about wanting companionship?” 

He didn’t necessarily feel the urge for it, but Keith was curious as to why his best friend was so adamant against it.

Lance threw up his hands. “Because you have me!” He almost seemed startled by his own words, but stuck with them.

Keith just furrowed his brow. “But I can’t kiss you.” His voice had lowered. It was spoken softly. Almost as though if he spoke too loudly it would ruin the moment.

Lance swallowed. “I-I mean I kiss Hunk all the time… so if you wanna kiss…” He was so quiet Keith almost didn’t hear him.

_ What? _

He didn’t have time to process that Lance was okay with kissing him just yet. “Wait. You kiss Hunk?” He asked incredulously.

Lance screeched almost as much as Keith had. “N-not on the mouth or anything!” He waved his hands in front of him. “Just like on the cheek sometimes! I’m pretty sure you’ve seen me do it before.”

Keith breathed out and sat back again. “Oh. Well, yeah I knew that. But that wasn’t really what I was talking about… if I had a boyfriend I could… well, like kiss him on the mouth and stuff.” He spoke slowly, a heat spreading across his own face.

“I-I know… I figured you meant it like that. I-I was just trying to make it less, um, uncomfortable for you by mentioning Hunk.” Lance looked away for a moment as he said the words.

Was Lance  _ nervous _ ?

“O-oh. Um, thank you?” He wasn’t sure whether it was something to thank his best friend for, but he was completely unprepared for the offering and not quite sure what to do with it. Or his hands. Were they always this hard to place?

“Uh, yeah.” Lance shifted. “So, if you ever feel, um, the need to… kiss someone and since you don’t have time for a boyfriend… uh, I’m here.”

Keith didn’t realize he was holding his breath. “W-well, you’re a really good friend. You don’t have to do that for me.” 

Lance laughed and Keith could tell it was different than his normal laughs, more forced with less amusement, but he didn’t mention it. “It’s not a big deal or anything!” He spoke louder than necessary. “I kiss people all the time! I should be able to kiss you like it’s nothing!”

Keith recoiled. “Oh, uh, yeah. Like it’s nothing…” He repeated.

Lance nodded exuberantly. “Don’t worry. I’m a good kisser.” He winked then stood. “Well, I’m gonna get ready!”—he stuck a thumb toward Keith’s door—“You should hurry up too. Shiro might come early.” 

“Yeah, sure.” Keith swallowed and watched as Lance left his bedroom. 

He let out a long sigh and tried to wrap his head around what had just happened. Because that was never something that had come up before. Lance just offered to makeout with Keith whenever he desired? There was no way he could indulge in that. No matter how much he wanted to. It would be so wrong. Lance didn’t even know about his feelings. It was like having an ulterior motive.

Eventually, his brain hurt too much after thinking about it so hard. He just cleared his mind and pulled on an especially tight pair of black skinnies with rips at the knees. Lance was just being a good friend. It was probably nothing to him to kiss someone, but it  _ was _ something to Keith. He hadn’t kissed many people, and it felt like a special thing. So he would never take advantage of his best friend’s offer. He made himself promise that as he pulled on his red shirt and a black leather jacket over it. 

He exited his room and saw Shiro with an arm wrapped around his girlfriend, Allura, in the entryway. They were talking to Hunk who was explaining something about an upcoming event that was “very exciting.” Pidge had sauntered into the open doorway and slipped past them to walk up to Keith.

She pulled him down to her level quickly to whisper conspiratorially. “If you and me make a run for it now we won’t have to go to this stupid party. I know you would rather go watch some dumb alien show than grind against randos.”

Keith continued bending down as he answered. “I can’t believe your mom is even letting you come out with us.”

Pidge released her hold on Keith’s jacket and huffed. “She thinks I need to have some ‘fun’ and ‘live a little’ because she ‘trusts that you guys will look after me’ or something.” She curled her fingers in air quotes every time she made the fluctuation in her voice.

“Well, then we’ll just have to deal with it for a couple hours. I promised Lance.” He shrugged and Pidge gave a small smirk. “What?”

Pidge just shook her head. “Nothing.” But there was still an unnerving, knowing glint in her eyes.

Keith ignored it with a sigh. He already had too much on his mind. Stretching his arms above his head, he felt a slight breeze where his shirt rode up. A quiet, choked noise sounded to their left. Keith and Pidge turned to see Lance frozen in his doorway. The scent of fresh ocean wafted out of his room and Keith revelled in the smell.

“Oh, hey, Lance.” Pidge smirked. “Lookin’ at something?” She raised her eyebrows.

Lance snapped his eyes up to widen them at Pidge. “What? U-uh, no. Nope. Nothing.” He laughed awkwardly.

Keith couldn’t help the smile tugging at the edges of his mouth. Lance was extremely adorable all the time. It was completely unfair. He didn’t even notice he was staring until Lance smiled back at him. “You ready to party?” He grinned and hooked an arm around Keith’s arm. 

“Uh, I suppose.” He shrugged and pretended not to notice the heat emanating from where Lance’s forearm was touching him.

Lance dragged him toward the group by the door as Pidge followed behind them. “Oh, you’ll have fun! We can all dance together!” 

Keith sighed but gave his best friend a small smile. “Yeah, okay.” He agreed as they walked up to Shiro, Allura, and Hunk.

“You guys ready to go?” Shiro smiled, then turned to Keith. “How ya doin’, little bro?”

Keith rolled his eyes and resisted the urge to cross his arms since Lance was still holding onto his left one. He had a love-hate relationship with Lance’s touchy and affectionate nature. It made his heart race every time, even though he should’ve been used to his closeness already. With Lance’s every touch, it never failed to make his stomach flip.

“School’s been hectic I guess.” He said nonchalantly, shrugging a shoulder. Shiro’s eyes followed the movement and noticed Lance’s arm hooked around his brother’s. His face was placid other than the subtle lift of his eyebrows.

“Well,” he smiled, “that’s college for you.”

“I think you’ll find it to be more enjoyable in year three.” Allura smiled at the college sophomores in front of her. “You really get to focus on the brunt of your major and learn the important stuff.”

Hunk nodded. “Yeah, I’m looking forward to some more engineering courses! My schedule was too full to fit in another one this semester.” He frowned.

“Sadly, there is a schedule limit.” Pidge chimed in.

“Okay, downers.” Lance scoffed. “College is also about experiencing new things and having  _ fun _ ! So let’s go frickin’ party, guys!” He yelled, pumping his free arm as he dragged Keith out after him.

Everyone followed and piled into Shiro’s SUV. 

It wasn’t exactly the most comfortable situation. His vehicle was pretty large, but the back seat had the least amount of room so no one had ever wanted it. Allura obviously took shotgun while Hunk raced ahead to take one of the two mid seats. Lance practically dragged Keith to the back seat even before Pidge yelled to claim the second mid seat. So there Keith was, body pressed flush against Lance’s in the small back seat of his brother’s SUV, trying to keep his nervous fidgeting to a minimum.

Lance’s arm was  _ still _ wrapped around Keith’s. He was starting to sweat under his leather jacket, but made no move to take it off. He didn’t want to disturb the hold Lance had on him, because he was sure that his best friend would eventually realize that he was still attached to him and release him. If he were lucky, it would happen sooner rather than later.

But he never was so lucky.

He was stuck with Lance’s warm presence for the entire car ride. It also didn’t help that his best friend pressed closer to him to chatter right in his ear since the radio was loud. He talked about the fact that he was excited to be finally hanging out with him and that they needed to obviously implement a weekly scheduled time for best friend time, because if they left it up to Keith they would apparently never hang out. Keith just laughed and kept up the charade that he was still extremely busy, but he would try to make time for him. Lance pouted momentarily, but couldn’t help the smile that sprouted on his face when Keith bumped their hooked arms together with a smile of his own, telling him not to pout before they were about to have a good time.

They were nearing Greek row and instantly felt the otherworldly effect just being within the vicinity of the lodges. It was like the community amassed and emitted an aura that encompassed the entire block. It was an atmosphere of extremely lowered inhibitions, prioritizing fun, and some force that was just entirely unbelievable. It was almost like a different world. It was as if they had teleported to a different dimension. Or as if it were a magical realm that held fantasy creatures who thrived on the attention of others without a care of whether it was the good or bad kind. Responsibilities checked out after five and were something to be ignored until the alcohol wore off or the sun came up—whichever happened later. 

Apparently, it wasn’t a party unless the music could be heard from two blocks away. The thumping bass reverberated through Keith’s heart as Shiro drove closer to the scene. Not that he couldn’t already feel it beating erratically. Wild, colorful lights escaped the two story frat house and shone across the sky and surrounding buildings without a care. Keith could hear excited hollering and chants coming from inside the trashed, crowded house. 

Finally, Lance let Keith’s arm go to stick his head between the two mid seats as Shiro parked. “Sounds like the good shit is starting.” He beamed at Hunk who fist bumped him for some reason. Keith would never really understand. He just followed and didn’t ask questions. It was better that way.

“Yeah, man. I think Shay is already in there.” Hunk gave a grin. “She said she’d meet us here,” he sighed dreamily. “She’s so beautiful and amazing, dude. I can’t believe she agreed to date  _ me _ .”

“Dude!” Lance screeched as they climbed out of the stationary vehicle. “You’re freaking amazing. I say she’s just as lucky!”

Hunk sniffled. “Ooooohh buddy.” He wrapped Lance in a firm bear hug and Lance took it like a champ. “Let’s go find her!” He pulled Lance along with him, toward their destination. 

Lance glanced behind him with a slight worried expression. His furrowed brows smoothed out as he caught Keith’s eyes. He smiled as he mouthed something like “find me when you get in there” that Keith could only interpret as “something me something something in there.” 

So, he basically understood.

But he didn’t find his best friend right away like he had asked. Instead he was dragged to the kitchen with Shiro and Pidge. Allura had been stopped by some of her sorority friends, so she ushered the rest of them to continue without her. Pidge already had three shots ready to go in mere seconds. Keith was both surprised and impressed with her efficiency. 

They all wordlessly grabbed one.

Keith took a breath and downed the shot. If anything could help numb his feelings, it would be alcohol. He hoped. It stung the raw, sensitive areas of his throat and left him with a bad lingering taste in his mouth. Pidge definitely hadn’t provided them with chasers. She was pretty hardcore, as much as she liked to whine about having to go to such events. So Keith stood there, slightly gagging, as Pidge poured them another round.

“So,” Shiro started. “I didn’t want to mention it in front of everyone in case I was wrong, but… are you and Lance finally-”

“OhmygodShiro, NO!” He hid his red face with his hands.

Keith knew it had been a mistake to confide in Shiro about his dilemma. About his feelings for his best friend. He just couldn’t take the internal struggle alone anymore and his brother had caught him at a good time. A moment full of extra pining and weakness. It felt so long ago when he had confessed his feelings for Lance to Shiro, but in reality it was only about six months ago. 

Around the time Hunk, Lance, and Keith all moved in together.

He was freaking out even more so than usual at the idea of Lance sleeping in the room next to him. So close, but so far. The idea of seeing Lance everyday for most of the day was an intoxicating concept, but he felt guilty for even being happy about it. But once he kept seeing Lance’s bright smile, full of laughter and happiness at the idea of being so close together, he couldn’t help but feel happy himself. Which led to him feeling even guiltier when he was alone. He couldn’t win with himself. Not with the war he held in his heart. 

Fighting against his romantic feelings in order to appease his friendship feelings was an extreme sport that Keith decidedly did  _ not _ enjoy.

Shiro just shrugged with a small smile. “He just seems like he’s getting closer and touchier with you every time I see you guys. How can I not assume something when he’s practically making out with you?”

“THAT IS SO WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS!” He whisper-screamed. “Just… ugh, Shiro, please!” Keith groaned behind his hands, then froze. His brain just made him realize that their other short, menacing friend was still with them. He dropped his hands to stare wide-eyed at a smug Pidge. 

She smirked. “I freakin’ knew it. It really doesn’t take a genius to see that you two gots da hots for each other.” She taunted like a grade school student, sticking her tongue out and everything.

“W-w-what?!” He shrieked loud enough to be heard over the blaring music. Loud enough to garner the odd looks from the other roaming people in the kitchen. “Me and Lance are just  _ friends _ .” He hissed at a lower volume.

Pidge snorted. “Yeah, until you get promoted to butt-fucking partners.”

Sometimes Keith couldn’t believe the things that came out of the younger girl’s mouth. He could have sworn that he was heating the entire kitchen with his red cheeks. “Pidge, shut up. That’s not going to fucking happen! Why would that happen? It doesn't make any sense!” 

Shiro hummed. “Hmm, I don’t know, bro. It could if you made an effort. Is that not what you want?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Of course I don’t want that!” He lied. “Being friends is enough for me and I’m  _ happy _ to even be a part of his life.”—that was the truth—“We’re absolutely, positively  _ just _ friends!” He tried to convince them, but their faces proved how unmoving his speech was going, so he tried harder. “Haven’t you ever heard that you’re not truly best friends unless people start questioning your sexualtily whenever you’re around them? It’s freaking normal. And Lance is just a touchy person!”

“Sure, it’s normal for Lance to be an expressive, touchy individual, but… he embodies a whole new definition of  _ being physical _ with a friend when it comes to you. Just the other month, I walked in on you two canoodling on the couch!” Pidge spread her arms out with exasperation at Keith’s dense brain. “You freaking separated so fast I thought  _ I _ was going to get whiplash. And you practically shat yourselves when you thought you got caught. Explain that!” Pidge challenged.

Keith sighed and ran a frustrated hand down his face. “Ugh, that… that  _ was _ weird. But an anomaly nonetheless.” He cleared his throat and quickly took his second shot, looking for that liquid courage. Pidge eagerly refilled his shot glass as Keith continued. “Lance was… upset about school or something and just wanted comfort. I was already laying down on the couch when he came in and laid on top of me. We talked for a little while and before I knew it, my arms were wrapped around him and we… well we just fit pretty well together so it just worked out that way. I was being a good  _ friend _ . Nothing more.” They were both silent with skeptical expressions, causing Keith to feel the need to further explain. “I just know Lance thrives on physical contact and comfort and I would’ve been a bad friend if I didn’t do something. So we talked and we, okay sure, ‘cuddled’ or whatever, but it was honestly a real bonding moment that just further deepened our friendship and I don’t regret it.” He huffed, crossing his arms.

Shiro sighed. “Well, I’m just saying that if you  _ did _ want to do something about it, Lance surely wouldn’t stop you.”

Keith wasn’t going to mention the fact that his best friend had just offered to makeout with him whenever he had wanted not even two hours ago. Because that didn’t even pertain to the conversation at hand. That was just Lance being a thoughtful friend. Nothing more. So he couldn’t make a remark about the occurrence without feeling like he was encouraging his already-annoying friends. 

He rolled his eyes at his brother and small friend. “You guys need a hobby. Me and Lance are fine as we are now. Our friendship is freakin’ great!” He emphasized his words by taking his third shot, like somehow that was a factual backing of his statement in the case to prove his point.

He was beginning to feel the roar of the alcohol’s influential warmth climb from his stomach and settle uncomfortably in his heart. It was a different sensation from the way Lance usually made him feel. It was more of a stinging, sometimes sickly feeling. Definitely less romantic. It made his heart pump a little harder and his lungs burn slightly. He knew that if he kept drinking he would experience the numbing of his skin as the tingles traveled across his nerves in the webbed network of his biology. That his rational decisions would cloud with a mist of his Id. That the reason and logic and worry that constantly circled his anxiety-riddled brain would leave him. Leave him with his basic wants, desires, and urges. His most instinctual cravings. 

But he also knew it would possibly desensitize his aches and longing for his blue eyed best friend. That it would possibly relieve his infatuation and send it to a new target for the night. Which wasn’t entirely healthy, but when was Keith really ever healthy with his feelings? 

“Oh, I don’t argue with that. I just believe it could be more mutually beneficial.” Pidge waggled her eyebrows.

“Okay, I’m done with this conversation. No more Lance and-”

Keith was interrupted by familiar tan arms slinking around his torso. “Lance and  _ what _ ?” His best friend purred in his ear. 

_ Fuck. _

Lance’s head fit perfectly on Keith’s shoulder.

He swallowed hard, then downed his fourth shot as he saw his two supposed friends’ bright grins. He hissed at the taste then leaned back into Lance’s warmth almost subconsciously. He was really feeling it now. And not giving a fuck was one of Keith’s favorite things about alcohol. It made ignoring the amused faces of Pidge and Shiro easier. It also made enjoying Lance’s embrace easier. 

The guilt seemed to slip away with Keith’s ability to form full sentences.

“N-nothing much. Dumb stuff.” He mumbled, letting Lance hold most of his weight.

Lance chuckled low and impossibly sweet in his ear. It came straight from his chest and reverberated against Keith’s back. It was entirely satisfying. He drank up every bit of it, nearly sighing with such an extreme content that it would cause his eyes to close in the comfort of it. But he managed to remember himself and  _ not _ do that.

“Well, then come dance with me. I got worried when you didn’t come find me.” Lance pouted as he turned Keith around to face him. 

“Sorry,” Keith slurred, surprising even himself at how quick the shots were hitting him. “Busy. Gettin’ wasted.” He explained with lidded eyes and a pretty, buzzed expression. Which caused Lance to chuckle again, fondness in his eyes.

“Jeez, boy. Lemme catch up.” He took Shiro’s shot and downed it. 

Pidge proceeded to pour Lance two shots. He took them like a champ then flashed Keith a sultry smile with dark, flirtatious eyes. Keith felt a roaring of fire and arousal fill his insides. It was mixed with the overwhelming thrum of a fuzzy heat being pumped through his veins. With every beat of his heart, he could feel the different fires of intoxication and  _ Lance _ making their way through his body, consuming him. 

That was not his plan. He was supposed to  _ not _ feel this. He was supposed to forget or transfer the feelings. Instead, he just gazed at his best friend with an unbridled affection. It felt incredibly freeing to just allow his feelings to appear on his face without any careful thought put into them, to make sure he wasn’t doing anything too weird. But without his sober mind controlling his reactions or behavior, Keith felt light. The independence of his own expressions was just as intoxicating as the alcohol. His actions were uninhibited and unrestrained. For better or for worse, Keith didn’t care.

But something in the back of his mind yelled at him.

It told him that he was definitely  _ not _ supposed to feel his gut curl and tingle with Lance’s heated gaze and playful smirk. That he was  _ not _ supposed to feel giddy as Lance threaded his fingers with Keith’s, pulling him through several rooms to reach the “dance floor”. He was  _ not _ supposed to be smiling like an absolute idiot at the boy who spun them around to blaring beats with too much bass, as the other people in the room were busy grinding and bouncing hectically. 

But it all felt so  _ good _ . So he allowed himself the pleasure of just enjoying the presence of his best friend without the anxieties of his typical over-thinking brain.

The room was crowded with sweaty bodies dancing both sensually and drunkenly. Their skills may have looked more impressive if Keith had taken a couple more shots, but he probably wouldn’t have noticed them anyway. He was enamored with the blue eyes reflecting party lights in front of him. Lance had stopped the spinning in favor of resting a hand at Keith’s waist while still holding his other hand. When Keith had just kept staring in an intense, trance-like state, Lance prompted his hand to rest at his shoulder. So there they were, waltzing in the minimal space they were allowed, staring into each other’s eyes while smiling like madmen. 

A bubbling excitement filled Keith’s lungs and left his mouth in the form of a giggle. Lance raised a teasing eyebrow at the sound, his smile as bright as ever. Keith wasn’t one to laugh often, and most certainly not  _ giggle _ . But once the sound had escaped him, more happy noises tumbled out, mixing with Lance’s own laughs. They continued their version of the slow dance sloppily to electronic music as they chortled their way to aching abs.

Keith didn’t know whether it had been minutes or hours dancing with Lance. He didn’t really care about the time. But as they made their way back to the kitchen for water, and most likely more shots, they saw Shiro and Pidge standing exactly where they had been before. They looked like they were in a deep discussion.

“Whatcha talkin’ bout, guys?” Lance slung an arm over Shiro’s shoulder, because Pidge certainly would’ve punched him.

“Uh,” Shiro cleared his throat and shrugged out of Lance’s hold, then patted the boy’s shoulder. “Just grownup things.” He smiled.

Lance looked back and forth between Pidge and Shiro with an eyebrow raised. “You… you do know she’s like five, right?” He pointed to Pidge.

“Hey! I’m almost eighteen.” She adjusted her thin, round glasses.

“Um, yeah… next  _ year _ .” Lance snorted. “You’re just a baby right now.”

“Whatever, do you want some more shots or what? I wanna see you passed out in Keith’s arms by the end of the night.” She smirked. “Anything to get you to shut up.”

Lance huffed. “I can do that right now!” He turned to face Keith and hugged him, leaning most of his weight on the shorter boy. Keith held Lance with ease, he was used to his weight, but his heart still tingled at the pressure. “But not the shutting up part.” He grinned at Pidge from his place on Keith’s shoulder. 

She rolled her eyes, but seemed satisfied with Keith’s content expression. He just enjoyed breathing in Lance’s scent as Pidge quickly poured their shots, but lamented at the loss of his contact when he pulled away to down his drink. Keith took a breath and quickly consumed his own. 

He didn’t drink often, so his tolerance was terribly low. He was a little bit of a lightweight. Every drink hit him with more force than it did for others. So it was safe to say that Keith was now just a little more than buzzed. Not quite yet crazy drunk, as he was still able to control his limbs alright, but definitely feeling good. He didn’t really even need any more shots, but the worry that his buzz would fade and his incessant anxieties would flood back pushed him to keep tipping the shot glass back every time Pidge filled it.

And boy, did Pidge fill it.

She must’ve poured them three rounds, making Keith’s total shots a whopping seven. His earlier nervousness had pushed him ahead of them all. Lance was only one shot behind while Pidge was at five and Shiro four as far as he knew. His older brother looked at them all with a cautious expression.

“How about some shots of water now?” He suggested.

It was Allura’s turn as the designated driver so Shiro hadn’t had to worry about watching his intake for that reason. He was taking it slow, because he was a smart and responsible adult who had prior experience with alcohol poisoning and a multitude of hangovers. He wasn’t—much to Keith’s displeasure—called “papa Shiro” for nothing. Allura and Shiro were very much the parental figures of the group, which Keith often ignored. Because that was just  _ weird _ . He already had a dad. He didn’t need his perfect brother to chide him for every mistake and wrongdoing. Sometimes he just wanted to learn the hard way. To experience his fuckups. To  _ learn _ from them on his own.

“Okay, everyone,” Pidge grabbed a short stack of plastic cups and handed them out. “One glass of good ole H2O then more SHOTS!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, if you wanna check it out, here's my tumblr dedicated to my writing! https://ryderwryter.tumblr.com/ It's pretty new, but I plan on using it to post thoughts, updates on chapters, sneak peeks, or anything else I can think of! If you want to tell me something or would just like to ask a question about anything, please feel free to comment here or send in an ask on my tumblr :) Thanks for reading!!


	3. Good Talk, Dude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m terrible and horrible and just the worst, I know. This chapter will probably feel short compared to the last one, but 2k-3k is my goal count for each chapter. I appreciate you <3

It was a little after one in the morning when Keith noticed he was moving. He was in motion, yet he was sitting. He hadn’t realized he had even closed his eyes. When had that happened? The world only started to spin when he opened his lids.

Immediate regret greeted him with a wave a nausea, but there was a comforting hand caressing his arm as he groaned.

“Hey, buddy.” He saw Lance’s smile. It helped ground him, calming the sickness in his stomach slightly. “Allura is taking us all home. You passed out after pulling some impressive, yet highly dangerous, dance moves by the pool.”

“ _ Fuuuck _ .” Keith just quietly groaned.

“No, it was honestly pretty cool. Like even I was shocked.”—Lance’s grip on him tightened, and Keith just noticed Lance’s other arm around his shoulders—“You better not forget our whole night. We had a fuckin’ blast, dude.” He grinned.

Keith gently shook his head. “No, no. I-I remember. Don’t worry.” He ran a hand down his face. “Humiliation is hard to forget.”

Lance chuckled. “Oh please, not all of it was bad, right? You can’t tell me that we didn’t laugh our asses off.”

“You’re right.” Keith sighed then gave a small smile. “I actually had a pretty good time. I was surprised.”

Lance feigned shock. “Surprised? Don’t you always have fun going out with me?”

“Hmmm… I wanna joke around and say I don’t, but that wouldn’t be entirely false.” He grimaced at his own words.

Lance gaped, leaning back, taking his arm with him. Keith almost pouted at the loss of his warmth. “What do you mean? Do you really not enjoy our times together?” He frowned.

“Well, when we’re  _ together _ it’s a blast. But you tend to wander off with the hottest person in the room, flirt exuberantly with them for an annoying amount of time, then come back hours later to join the group when it’s time to leave. Sooo… I’d say when that happens, it isn’t the most enjoyable time, no.” Lance looked like he paled a bit, which made Keith worry that  _ he  _ was going to throw up. “Lance, you okay? Are you-”

“I’m sorry.” He blurted. “I-I… I was young-”

“Lance, this was like a few months ago.” Keith raised an eyebrow teasingly. 

“I-I know… I’ve just done a lot of self-reflection and been dealing with my shit head on lately.” He looked into Keith’s eyes with sincerity. “I used to have an unhealthy way of dealing with my feelings-er, uh,  _ problems _ . Like I did that flirting shit… as an excuse o-or a distraction from what I was running from.” Lance looked a little sad as he fidgeted with his hands. Keith couldn’t blame him from looking for a distraction from his problems, because that’s exactly what he had been wanting to look for. Instead, he ended up spending all his time with the source of his affections and troubles, but he hadn’t exactly regretted it. “While I haven’t really fixed everything, I  _ have _ realized that I don’t want to use someone else as my sad excuse of an outlet o-or coping mechanism.” He shrugged. “Even though the shit is hard to deal with, I learned that it’s much more satisfying taking it head on than ignoring it.” He smiled slightly, and Keith could swear there was a fondness in his eyes that was directed at  _ him _ for some unknown reason.

Well, they were friends so perhaps that was reason enough.

As much as Keith didn’t want them to, Lance’s words made sense. Facing the problem head on would be more beneficial in the long run. Using other people as a means of escape was unhealthy and temporary. Perhaps if he put all his effort into acknowledging and solving his problems, instead of ignoring and stuffing them down, he would get a lot more work done.

He admired Lance for changing on his own just for the sake of becoming better. He was so much stronger than people tended to give him credit for. He was incredible, which was incredibly annoying since it made Keith like him even more. But he had already known that about his best friend. It was something he noticed early on in their friendship, because Keith, too, had underestimated him. He was happily surprised when Lance turned out to have better character than he had originally assumed. When Keith had admitted his assumption, Lance only laughed and commented something like “I have so many layers you won’t know what to do with me! You’ll probably feel the need to prove yourself in order to keep me as a friend.”

And so Keith did.

He wasn’t much of a conversationalist, but he was a good listener and Lance was a good talker. It seemed as though his best friend really appreciated that aspect of their dynamic. So Keith just listened to Lance whenever he wanted to talk, rant, or just ramble. Because it all meant something to them both. It was a sense of comfort and bonding. The times they were alone, talking, were some of the most pivotal points in their friendship. 

When Lance noticed Keith blinking slowly, processing all of his best friend's words, he asked, “You ready for bed, buddy?”

Strangely, Keith wasn’t. Usually he’d love to sleep off his remaining buzz, but after his blackout he felt weirdly rejuvenated. It wasn’t like he needed to wake up early for anything since it was Saturday. He let the lack of responsibilities of the weekend dictate his decision. 

“Nah. I feel like I could stay up for another few hours.” He blinked a few times, feeling the remainder of his headache receding.

Lance huffed a laugh. “Damn, dude. Hard partier I see.” He teased. “Okay, deal. Hunk is already passed out, but you and I can just watch tv or play some cod.”

“Sounds good.” Keith smiled. 

And it did sound good. Just chilling and having a good time with Lance, like good friends, sounded  _ really _ good. It was something that sober Keith would’ve probably fretted over and been an anxious mess about, but no. Not buzzed Keith. He wasn’t even thinking about Lance and his beautiful face or mesmerizing eyes or tantalizing smirks. No, he was just thinking about what tactics he would use to kick Lance’s ass in the video game. 

And okay, sure, maybe a little bit of how hot his best friend was. He wasn’t blind.

And not only did it sound good, it felt good. To not have to overthink his every movement or action. Keith was just enjoying his time with Lance. Appreciating his best friend’s proximity and warmth. No anxiety. No blushing.

They talked about their favorite parts of the night until they arrived at the apartments. Keith was pretty sure he could recall most of it, but there were some parts that were escaping his memory. The thought would’ve scared him, had he been completely sober. But all he thought was how warm Lance’s arm was next to his. 

They only separated to help a sleepy Hunk out of the car and up the stairs.

Allura took Pidge down the hall to drop her off as Shiro watched Lance and Keith help Hunk into his bed. Usually Shiro would’ve helped, but Keith noticed something off about him. He didn’t worry about it until he closed Hunk’s door silently, in order to not wake him.

“Man, Hunk is so out I doubt he would wake up if the fire alarm went off.” Lance wiped his slightly sweaty forehead. “A door closing is not going to make much of a difference.” He smiled brilliantly wide.

Keith felt the dreadful affection for his best friend creeping into the forefront of his mind again. So much for his buzz lasting to let him enjoy his best friend’s company. The way Lance’s hips swayed when he walked back to the foyer did  _ not _ help either. “I can’t believe alcohol makes him  _ that  _ sleepy.” He only murmured, following Lance’s lead.

As Keith rounded the corner to the entryway he could see Allura nodding to Shiro in their open doorway. Allura smiled at them when she noticed their presence. She gave them a quick hug goodbye, then headed back to Shiro’s SUV.

Shiro, however, didn’t move. He made no motion to follow his girlfriend. His solid, muscular frame was in a stance that oozed a sense of “brick wall.” He stood there, not budging from his spot, and just stared at the two college sophomores.

Keith raised an eyebrow at his brother. “Uh, everything good?”

“I told Allura I needed a second with you, Keith.” Shiro nodded his head where Allura had once been, then gently smiled at Lance. “Alone.” 

“Uh, yeah, I’ll just go get things ready.” Lance jabbed a thumb behind him, toward the living room, then turned on his heel and walked out of the entryway.

_ Okay, that was weird. _

Keith was officially confused, but he let Shiro walk him into the hall and close the door behind them.

He felt his arms automatically cross defensively in front of him. While Keith remembered most of the night, he would have to admit that some parts  _ were  _ a little fuzzy. Perhaps he did something wrong or inappropriate while out of it. Surely, he was about to get an irritating scolding from his older brother.

But as Shiro took a breath he looked uncharacteristically nervous. “I need your help.” He whispered.

Keith had to take a moment. He blinked a couple times, then pushed off the wall he had been leaning against. “You need my  _ what _ ?” He almost choked on his own voice.

“Help, Keith.” He sounded exasperated. Shiro was never exasperated. Sure, he had a hair out of place sometimes,—he was only human—but Shiro was the golden child. Even more competent than he was confident. So his brother’s request seemed odd. What could Keith help with that Shiro wasn’t already able to do a million times better?

“Um, okay.” He said cautiously. “W-what can I do?”

Shiro sighed again, seemingly frustrated with himself. “I-I did something…” He started to pace the hall. “Something absolutely terrible. I’m not like this. I-I’m a good guy! I never wanted to hurt her like this, but it just happened and… well, I can’t take it back now, so the only option is to own up to it, right?” He asked aloud, but didn’t give Keith the opportunity to respond. “Because I’m an adult and I’m responsible for my own actions, regardless of how drunk I was. That isn’t an excuse and I know that. I-I honestly didn’t even think I was that drunk to begin with, but-”

“Dude!” Keith held up his hands to stop his brother’s ranting. “What is going on?” He put a hand on his shoulder. He felt his brother’s tense muscles under his hand as his own world spun for a moment then calmed down. Okay, so he was still a little queasy. He was glad he reached out for his brother when he did or else he would’ve fallen down.

“Fuck.” He whispered, looking down at Keith. “Y-you’re still drunk. I-I’ll just have to talk to you tomorrow.”

Okay, something was definitely wrong if Shiro was cussing. Keith just became more intrigued. And he was worried about his brother. So he couldn’t let him leave just like that.

“Wait, what the fuck?” Keith gripped Shiro tighter when he noticed he was about to walk away. “You can’t just drop that shit and not explain anything!”

“Ssshhhh.” Shiro urged. “I’ll explain. I have to, because I still need your help… but obviously you’re not in the best shape right now.” He motioned to Keith. 

“I feel fine!” Keith whisper-shouted.

“This was my fault. I should’ve just waited, but I got too nervous and I’m feeling so,  _ so  _ guilty.” Shiro groaned. “Tomorrow. You and me will talk. I still need you, but I gotta go. I don’t want to keep Allura waiting any longer than she has to.”

Keith started gripping tighter, but his brother was too strong. “Wai-Shiro!” He tried, but his brother was already down the hallway. “Fuck.” He whispered to himself. “What the actual  _ fuck _ ?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! <3


	4. Just Being A Good Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, yes, Keith loves Shiro very much and will deal with his brother’s problem when he can, but he also loves Lance very much… and Lance just consumes his senses and brain capacity. Everything is Lance and he can’t remember when it wasn’t like that. That’s how good it is being his friend ;)

Lance handed Keith a controller as he walked in. “Everything good?” He asked from in front of the PS4.

Keith cleared his throat and shook away his blank look. “Uh, I’m not sure. He just said he wanted to talk with me tomorrow.” He swallowed thickly as he sat down on their beat up couch.

“Well, I hope everything’s alright.” Lance placed the empty case on the tv stand and walked over to take his place next to Keith. 

Impossibly close.

Keith couldn’t ignore the way their knees or arms brushed against each other. His breath quietly hitched when he felt Lance’s warm skin come in contact with his. Without the protective layer of Keith’s leather jacket, Lance’s heat was all the more overwhelming. 

In the best way.

Even as they turned on the game and battled with a competitive seriousness, he basked in the warmth that was Lance. His proximity yielded the opportunity for Keith to breath in his best friend’s cologne longer. To feel his skin on his. To not only hear, but feel, Lance’s laughs with the rise and fall of his chest or his frustration with the flailing of his arms. It didn’t take that long before he was entirely captivated by Lance. 

While he couldn’t entirely forget what Shiro had said, it was getting harder to concentrate on anything other than Lance. It was all too soon when his brother’s words were lost to the heat bubbling in his veins and the tingles in his heart.

After kicking Lance’s ass in a round of team deathmatch, again, Keith left for the kitchen. Lance’s complaints were lost in the room behind him. All Keith had on his mind was to get something that would let him feel normal again. And luckily, he found it. Several beers sat untouched in the fridge.

So maybe the alcohol was just another “distraction” or unhealthy coping mechanism, but Keith just really needed a normal moment with his best friend. It felt nice being able to turn off his overthinking brain for a while. He didn’t want it to end so he opened up the beer and took a swig before entering the living room again.

“Ah, so that’s where you ran off to.” Lance smirked at the beer in Keith’s hand. “I guess I should keep the party going as well.” He swiped the sealed, second beer in Keith’s left hand. “Can’t have you making the excuse that I beat you because you were more intoxicated than me.”

“I think it’s cute that you think you’re gonna beat me.” Keith smirked. Oh yeah. The beer was calming his nerves already. He hadn’t even thought of the possible outcomes and consequences of him calling Lance cute. He had just said it.

What an incredibly free feeling.

Lance took a swig of his beer and rolled his eyes. “Oh, fuck you. Sit down and show me what you’re made of.”

“See for yourself.” Keith spread his arms, presenting himself. “This is what I’m made of. Just pure awesome and ‘Keith’.” He smirked as he sat down next to Lance again. 

Keith had expected some comeback or jerky remark, but Lance just stared into his eyes with dark ones. Perhaps his beer was working _too_ well. “You alri-”

“Remember what I said earlier?” Lance blurted, head slightly cocked, eyes serious. Serious and oh so seductive.

“Uh…” Keith felt his mouth start to salivate with the urge to consume his best friend in ways that he hadn’t even allowed himself to think of. “W-we talked a lot today, Lance. I’m not sure-”

And then Lance’s thumb was on Keith’s bottom lip, pressing ever so slightly. Like he was testing its elasticity and plumpness. He pulled it down just enough to expose a little bit of Keith’s tongue and bottom row of teeth. Lance steadied his thumb, flicking his eyes back up to look deep into Keith’s with an expression halfway between curiosity and desire—Keith had to have been hallucinating that, right? 

“Are you really not sure?”

Keith recalled the many conversations they had that evening. He wasn’t quite sure which one Lance had been referring to. He wanted to believe it was the one where Lance had offered his lips (as any good friend would), but why would Lance bring that up now? There was no reason for it. It was only Keith’s lovesick brain giving him hope where there should have been none.

Lance swiped his thumb across Keith’s lip then removed it to let him speak. 

Keith swallowed, somehow managing to find his voice. “Are you okay?” His throat only allowed him a whisper. 

“I’m fine.” Lance smiled gently, cautiously. “But are _you_?”

Keith looked away and shrugged. “I mean, yeah. I’m fine. Playing COD with you is fun. Reminds me of high school.” He glanced back at Lance to give him a smile.

His best friend nodded nostalgically. “Man, even back then I-” Lance abruptly stopped his reminiscent sentence, then continued in a more controlled tone. “I just remember being so grateful to have you in my life.” His eyes were soft.

Keith huffed a laugh. “Yeah, I felt the same.” He leaned back on the couch. “ _Still_ feel that way really.”

Lance seemed to glance away for a moment then smirked at him mischievously as he leaned back to join him. “Well, obviously.” Keith was about to punch him when Lance changed the subject. “I can’t believe you never dated anyone in high school. What a waste.” He sighed teasingly.

Keith scoffed. “What are you talking about? How is that a waste?”

“You know what I’m talking about.” Lance rolled his eyes. “You were incredibly popular. Everyone was practically in love with the mysterious and talented hottie who looked like a bad boy, but seemed to have a heart of gold who would only open up to that _special_ person.”

“W-well. That’s very… _specific_ , and I don’t know about a heart of gold or ‘hottie’, but I guess that sounds pretty accurate. I was just a loner. I really only had you. And then Hunk and Pidge. Who else was I supposed to open up to? And why would I even _date_ them if I had?” Keith scrunched his nose up like just the idea was gross.

Lance scoffed a laugh. “You’re such a weird kid. I can’t believe you finally want a boyfriend _now_. When you’re too busy to even hang out with your friends on a regular basis, unlike back then when we had all the free time in the world.” He splayed his hands in the air like they helped convey his point.

“Well, apparently I can’t have one now anyway.” He elbowed Lance’s side.

The impact made Lance groan, so he retaliated by nudging him with his knee. “Weeell, you really only said you wanted one for companionship, so if I’m that for you then it’s a win-win.”

“How is that a win-win?” Keith ignored the thumping of his heart and gently punched Lance’s shoulder.

“ _Because_ ,” Lance lightly shoved Keith. “ _You_ get to experience cuddling and kissing, or whatever you want,” he mumbled the last part as his cheeks darkened in the low light, “and _I_ get to keep you all to myself!” Lance wrapped a friendly arm around Keith’s shoulders.

Keith chugged the rest of his beer to catch up to Lance, who had somehow finished his beer without Keith even noticing, then leaned into his best friend’s hold. Might as well enjoy it while he was intoxicated enough to do so. “Sounds like you’re a selfish friend.” He teased.

Lance quickly sat up with furrowed brows, turning to face Keith criss-cross applesauce style on the couch. Although, his frown fell as he seemed to think for a moment. “I mean… you’re not wrong. I’m sorry.” He sighed. “If me helping you out won’t cut it for you then… then get a stupid boyfriend. But just for the record, I’m counting on _this_ ”—he motioned between the two of them—“to go well, okay?”

Keith smiled at his idiotic best friend. How could he want anyone else? If Lance was offering all that he was willing, then by god Keith would take it. Intoxicated Keith was very open to the idea. Even cuddling him was a dream come true so kissing was an unexpected bonus to their friendship. “Soo… whatever I want, eh?”

Lance squealed as he raised his hands to cover his face. It was both so spot on and so uncharacteristic of him at the same time that it nearly confused Keith to silence. It was something Keith could see him doing in front of a crush, but never because of _Keith_ . “I uh, you… fuck.” He mumbled through his hands, then uncovered his face to glare at Keith with, yep, _definitely_ red cheeks. “Don’t be a pervert. But, uh,” Lance cleared his throat. “Yeah. Whatever you want. I’ll cuddle you. I’ll, uh, kiss you. Like I said before. I-If you want.” He was getting quieter, which was most certainly unlike him.

Keith just smirked. Somehow, Lance’s nervousness surged Keith with confidence. “So you’d kiss me right now? If I wanted?” His brain vaguely reminded him of a promise he had made to himself. One that he made in order to not take advantage of his best friend. But Keith decided to ignore it, because beautiful blue eyes lit up at his words. He was never good at keeping promises to himself. So if Lance wanted it, then who was he to refuse?

Unfortunately, his best friend’s cute squirmy nature didn’t last long. At the prospect of making out, Lance only lidded his eyes and tilted his head up, leaning into Keith’s personal space. He licked his lips then parted them slightly. A dangerous tone overtook his voice. “I’m surprised you didn’t ask sooner.” One side of his mouth quirked up into a quick grin before his lilting tone teased him further. “Now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve heard of you kissing anyone before. And since I’m your best friend you would have told me… Say, if we kissed right now, would it be your first?”

Keith swallowed. It wasn’t like he hadn’t wanted to kiss anyone before. He just had no desire to get to know people first. And kissing someone he didn’t know felt wrong somehow. His young, innocent heart made him promise that he would have his first kiss with someone who deserved it. With someone he really liked. Well, he would be getting that now if they kissed, but Keith didn’t want to tell Lance I’m-a-really-good-kisser McClain that, yes, he would be his first.

So he opted for leaning in.

Everything felt entirely slow, yet so incredibly fast. Keith was leaning in at a cautious pace, feeling the butterflies in his stomach flutter around, daring to fly up and into his heart. He let Lance’s bright eyes encourage his actions and express what was allowed. But when he saw the excitement flash in his best friend’s eyes, he closed the distance between them with an urgency he had tried to keep at bay. He had wanted to savor the feeling, the longing, the fiery _anticipation_ between them. But when given the opportunity, Keith had suddenly felt completely done with the waiting game. He was finally going to get what he had been dreaming of for years.

It was slightly clumsy due to Keith’s frenzy, but he couldn’t wish for a more perfect first kiss. For one, it was with _Lance_ and that’s all that really mattered. It was just an added benefit that his best friend’s lips were so, _so_ soft. And quite impossibly made for his own.

His heart sung like it was trying to get the attention of everyone in the world with how intensely it was beating. It nearly flew out of his chest and left Keith to perish on the couch. But just as much as Keith felt like he was dying of happiness, he was also being revived with the pure satisfaction that the kiss provided.

It was even better than he thought kissing would be like. For some reason, Keith had never accounted for the fact that lips were warm. And Lance’s were especially so. He kissed like velvet, silky smooth and incredibly soft. Keith felt like he didn’t need experience to understand that Lance had perfect lips for kissing.

Then the guilt kicked in. Sure, yeah, he was someone who liked to learn the hard way and experience his fuckups, but he was pretty sure that kissing Lance was the wrong fuckup to go through with. Because damn did it feel so good, yet so bad at the same time. The shame threatened to ruin his first kiss and he felt like he deserved that. He should’ve just listened to Pidge and fled the country. Or even Shiro who told him that it wouldn’t end well if he didn’t explain his feelings. Maybe learning the hard way was something that should’ve been left for incidents of lower consequence. 

Kissing Lance was definitely not that.

Keith couldn’t help succumbing to the complete contact high that Lance provided. It melted his guilt and only left immense enjoyment in its path. How could he waste the time he had with Lance on his lips? In his arms? His body oh so close. It felt so good. Too good.

So he pulled away.

He really wanted more, to kiss him longer, but that wasn’t really what Lance had promised, right?

The kiss was too cautious to be anything more than brief, but in the time they took Keith’s hands had come up to caress Lance’s face and his best friend's fingers were threaded in his hair. It was intoxicating. So much more than the alcohol. Perhaps that was just how powerful _love_ was. Keith didn’t even have the energy to fight the thought. He was busy being lost in Lance.

Lance’s soft smile turned into a devious smirk. “So, was that your first or-”

Keith cut him off with another kiss. His motive for doing so wasn’t exactly for the incredible feeling, which overtook him physically and emotionally, it was more to shut his best friend up. While he also had an _actual_ reason, he could enjoy the joining of their lips _and_ have his excuse for doing it. It was also entirely too quick, but his heart erupted with butterflies when Lance kissed him back.

He took a breath when he broke away. The words that formulated his excuse were on his tongue. “See,” Keith smiled shyly, “not my first kiss. I’ve had _two_ kisses.” 

Yes, of course that was a _logical_ reason for kissing Lance a second time.

Lance blinked at the pure stupidity of Keith. He huffed a laugh, shaking his head. “You’re such a dork,” he smiled brightly at him. “So does this mean I’m the first _person_ you’ve kissed?”

Keith cleared his throat and felt his cheeks warm. “Uh, well… yeah. Is that weird?”

Lance shook his head, his own red tint crawled across his cheeks. “No, uh, I just couldn’t, um, tell… that it was your first time. It was good.”

Keith failed in fighting away his small smile. “Well, I’m glad you didn’t hate it.”—Lance made a face like he was dumb for even assuming that—“Y-you lived up to your reputation.” He gave a little laugh.

Lance sighed and rested against the cushions. “Well, that’s a relief.”—Keith raised an eyebrow—“Because, to be honest, I haven’t even kissed that many people. You know me. I tend to exaggerate. It’s kind of hard to be a hoe when my mind has been obsessed with this one person for way too long.”

“O-oh.” Keith hated the way his heart recoiled at the words. It throbbed, raw and bitter in his chest. He felt nauseous. “Then shouldn’t you be kissing them instead of me?”

“I have a feeling he’s okay with it.” Lance smirked.

Keith furrowed his brows, then rolled his eyes. “Do I even wanna know?” He hoped his attempt at indifference had covered his initial shock and hurt. He didn’t even have the time to agonize over the fact that Lance said “he”, as in a guy. He had known Lance was bi since senior year, but he always figured Lance tended to gravitate more towards girls. Especially when being obsessed with someone. The fact it was a guy just hurt all the more.

Lance’s smirk faltered slightly at Keith’s distant, almost cold, reaction. “Well, he knows that I’m a good friend.” Keith could almost hear a little bitterness in his tone, but it was so minuscule he probably imagined it. “A-and,” Lance looked down at his hands and mumbled, “he doesn’t even know. Too dense.”

Keith swallowed and rested his head on the couch backing, staring at the ceiling. “Sounds like he’s missing out.”

Lance laughed. Keith could hear the bitterness in it that time. “He sure is. He’s a right real _dumbass_. H-he… he makes me feel like maybe there’s a chance then whenever I make a fucking move he ends up pulling away. I think I might have to just confess straight out to his face one of these days.” He sighed.

“So why don’t you?” Keith might have said it with a little edge.

“I… I’m scared.” Lance nearly whispered, causing Keith to turn his head and see Lance’s vulnerable expression. It made him feel defensive of his best friend.

“Honestly, he probably doesn’t even deserve you. If he’s pulling away then he’s a coward and shouldn’t get to be someone special to you.” So maybe Keith was letting his heart guide his harsh advice, and maybe it was a bit hypocritical of him, because Keith kinda did the same thing. But his situation was completely different of course, because Lance wasn’t actually making any moves on him. He was just pulling away when his best friend was being too good to him. More good than he deserved. Maybe Keith and this mystery guy were more similar than he thought. Than he wanted. 

“So… you’re saying I shouldn’t, um, confess to him?” Lance nervously rubbed the back of his neck.

“I mean, how long have you even liked him?” Keith was acting cold. He knew he was and he hated himself for it. He was supposed to be a good, supportive friend and there he was being an asshole. He didn’t deserve a friend like Lance.

“I-I don’t think I wanna talk about this anymore.” Lance laughed nervously, and the guilt in Keith’s gut twisted. They were quiet for a moment before Lance spoke up again. “Um, so how the hell have you gone this long without kissing anyone? You’re a natural.” He knocked Keith’s shoulder with his fist while his smile was teasing.

How Lance was still able to talk to Keith even after he was a complete jerk, he didn’t know. He was grateful for the subject change though. He would have to apologize when his hurt wasn’t so raw and when he got the chance to calm down. Currently, Keith would just have to endure a conversation about his “nun-like purity.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m antisocial. There weren't exactly many options for me. I don’t have a strong urge to kiss strangers, and I guess life was just busy. Having friends was enough.” He shrugged. 

It was kind of true. He hadn’t really had the urge to kiss random people. He really only ever had romantic thoughts about the occasional fictional character and Lance, but he couldn’t tell his best friend that. Lance was already kissing him out of pity. Sure he wrapped it in a bow and presented it as an act of friendship, but it felt more like a sacrifice. Like Lance was just doing it because he felt bad. Or perhaps Lance just really didn’t want to lose quality time with Keith to a potential boyfriend. 

Either way, the reason for Lance “helping” him wasn’t entirely satisfying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, “FUNNY STORY”, my brother read a couple sentences of this out loud from over my shoulder, completely humiliating me and laughing himself into a ball on the floor. My god, I never realized how freaking cheesy and horrible my fics sound out loud. The self-loathing quickly passed, however, when I realized this is just for fun and it's a fanfic. They’re supposed to be grossly cheesy, and occasionally cringey. I hope you save yourself and never read this out loud. This fic is to be read in a “I’m supposed to be sleeping, but got caught up in silly fanfics that make no sense, but am kinda loving it, so now I lay here in complete darkness cuddled in my blankets reading this mindless nonsense” way. Thank you and goodnight <3  
> Thanks for reading!! <3


	5. The One Where The Perfect Brother Needs Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith is very much “do” and less “let’s talk about”, but I believe when he’s sat down he can actually provide a lot of help. Plus, he’s aged up, so he’s older and wiser <3  
> Also, sorry this is a little late. I was trying to work on a V-day oneshot and I'm still not done with it. (I started working on it 3 hours before v-day) I'm impossibly stupid :)

Soft streams of Saturday morning light danced through the small shop’s front windows, skipped along the oak tables, and refracted through the glass display cases. The numerous gluten-free treats being presented inside were illuminated by the sun’s rays. Some glistened while others seemed to brighten in color.

But Keith wasn’t concerned with the cafe’s desserts.

No, he was dealing with two massive headaches. One being the physical aching in his head and the other being his brother. As much as he loved Shiro, he chose the worst day to wake Keith up early.

“You  _ do _ know what ‘sleeping off a hangover’ means, right?” Keith massaged his temples as Shiro sat a coffee down on the table in front of him.

“It’s not that early.” Shiro gave him a look. He seemed to be back to normal enough. His posture was relaxed, his face composed. He was definitely more calm and put together than he had been nearly eight hours ago.

Keith started partially regretting his choice to stay up so late. Having fallen asleep at three A.M. then being woken by his brother not even five hours later was not the ideal way to deal with a hangover. 

Although, he had kissed Lance so it wasn’t entirely a bad time.

There were some rocky discussions, sure, but they continued through the conversations with tenacity, neither willing to break off their alone time just yet. They didn’t have to say the words in order to know they missed each other, but of course they had said them anyway. Keith was also able to learn something about himself: that after weeks of spending as little time he could in Lance’s presence, being able to finally hang out with his best friend was so monumentally important to him. Spending that quality alone time with Lance was more essential to Keith’s happiness than he had previously thought. They were best friends for a reason, and a few uncomfortable situations wouldn’t scare them away from each other.

Especially not Keith. 

Not anymore.

After they got past the rather unfortunate first conversation about Lance’s love for some guy, the conversations flew naturally and without too much trouble, even if some of the topics  _ were _ at Keith’s expense. He had tried to brush off the whole conversation of his chastity, but Lance was persistent to tease him and make the mood light. But little did he know he was just making Keith more aware of how much he held back in life because of his crush on Lance. The feelings had swirled and surged him with anxiety.

So he lashed out, majorly fucking up.

“Because I had someone I was in love with!” Keith had nearly shouted after Lance’s millionth prodding question about his “previously virgin lips” that night. It was the first time Keith had admitted his true feelings out loud. He hadn’t even let himself  _ think  _ of the romantic usage of love, and yet there he was letting it fall off his tongue for the world to hear. But he didn’t have time to worry over that. Lance was staring at him, wide-eyed. 

He had to explain his outburst.

“H-he completely consumed my thoughts so I didn’t really have time to think of kissing anyone else let alone do it.” His voice was almost a whisper. 

“Fuck.” Lance breathed. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He seemed hurt. “W-when? How?  _ Who _ ? D-do you still, uh, love him?” He was cautiously curious, a note of something else was hidden deep within his best friend’s ocean eyes. 

He could tell Lance was holding something back.

Keith had just sighed. “No.” He lied. “I can’t like anyone. I don’t have the time for it apparently.” He teased, trying to make light of his confession. Too many heavy handed conversations in one night would mess with Keith’s judgement and probably have him confessing his true feelings just because of their deep, bonding talks. Lance always managed to break down his walls without him even knowing until it was too late.

So, they ended up having  _ two  _ unfortunate confession conversations that made things tense, but thankfully, Keith’s had been the last one.

Lance just furrowed his brows and had been about to say something when Keith interrupted him. “I-I’m sure you have questions, but I’m too tired for this conversation right now. Maybe it’s just better if we don’t talk about it at all.” He stood up and started to walk away when Lance grabbed his arm.

Shocks ran across his skin and his arm hairs stood up at the contact. The touch was electrifying, but Keith’s heart beat with a nauseating tempo. He was nervous to look back at Lance’s expression. He basically confessed his feelings for his best friend. Did Lance guess? Notice Keith’s feelings? Was he going to reject him before he had the chance to even properly admit how he felt? 

Keith took a steadying breath before turning to face his best friend.

Lance’s eyes had too many emotions swirling in them for Keith to pick out any one. “Okay,” he had started out cautious, but became earnest in his request, “maybe not tonight, but I’d like to talk about it sometime. Please?”

Keith had imagined a lot of different reactions in a split second, but none were quite like that.

He just nodded, unable to do much else. “Sure. Sometime.” He breathed.

With that, Lance let go of his wrist and gave him a soft smile. Keith gave a small quirk of his own lips as they exchanged parting words.

When Keith had been safely behind his door he took a moment to think about what he had promised. He didn’t know whether he truly meant to discuss that with Lance again, but he had to get out of there somehow. The thought of Lance even  _ wondering  _ if Keith’s confession had been about him made him jitter with anxiety and his insides quiver with waves of nausea.

He never liked lying to Lance. Not when he made up excuses to not hang out with him. Not when he had to often cover up his own feelings. Not even when he lied by omission, which he almost felt the most guilty about, because he was constantly doing it. Lying to his best friend never felt satisfying, but Keith was getting terribly good at utilizing it, much to his own torment.

_ Hey, bro. Hello?! _

Keith heard snapping.

He blinked several times before the memory faded and his older brother was in front of him with a concerned look.

“I’m sorry, what?” Keith lifted his coffee for a sip as he tried to remember what Shiro had been saying before he started recalling his alone time with Lance.

Shiro just huffed a laugh, shaking his head. “I guess this really is too early for you. I’ll wake you up later next time.”

“Next time?” Keith raised an eyebrow. “You plan on having a one A.M. freakout in the hall outside my apartment prompting us to have this ridiculously early meeting to discuss what the hell had happened  _ again _ ?”

“Okay, so you’re clearly cognizant enough to have this conversation.” Shiro sighed, folding his hands in front of his coffee. “I know I probably confused you last night.”

“And you said ‘fuck’, so yeah, count me concerned.” He leaned forward in his seat.

“Okay, I may have been… a little emotional last night.” Shiro shifted uncomfortably in his seat as Keith nodded at him to continue. “I made a mistake. At the party.” He swallowed. “I, uh, don’t know why it happened, but I know that it was certainly my fault, because I am responsible for my own actions and-”

“Shiro.” Keith sighed. “I know you’re not a bad person. You made a mistake. You’re human. Who would’ve thought?” He teased, then gave the situation the seriousness it warranted. “Can you just get to what actually happened? I’m not here to judge you. I’m here to help in any way that I can.”

Shiro nodded. “Thanks.” He gave a small smile, then, with a sigh, started his explanation. “Well, Allura was busy and the rest of you had left to have some dance off, so I wandered around. I, uh, found a quieter part of the house with a hall full of rooms… and entered an empty one.” Keith sat silently, waiting for his brother to get to his point. “It was upstairs. Great space. Plenty of books, interestingly unlike any frat room I had ever seen. The books were even organized alphabetically and by genre, which I always thought was the best-”

Keith gave his brother a look. “Yes, you’re a natural storyteller,” he deadpanned, “but is this really pertinent to this conversation?”

“Yes.” Shiro cleared his throat. “Kind of. I-in a way, because I was a bit, uh, enamored with this particular room, so I suppose that was what started it.”

“Okay, continue.” Keith gently urged.

“Well,” Shiro looked down at his coffee and started stirring it mindlessly as he spoke. “I started poking around the room and found myself noticing that the resident of said room had tastes very similar to my own. I started to become intrigued by this frat boy that I had never met. I didn’t mean to snoop, but I was in the middle of reading through the studying materials he had on his desk when someone walked in.” Shiro seemed to wince at the memory.

“Let me guess. It was the guy who was currently inhabiting the room?” Keith took another sip of his drink.

Shiro nodded, looking up.

“Did he yell at you or something? Is this why you feel guilty?” Keith just couldn’t understand what Shiro was trying to say.

“Not exactly. He was disturbed by my invasion of his privacy, yeah, but then we started talking and he turned out to be a really great person. Even though I was rather intoxicated, we held a decent conversation. I learned that he was the Vice President of the frat house, and…”

“I’m still not understanding what had you freaking out last night. Was it really that odd that someone similar to you was in a frat house?” Keith raised an eyebrow.

“Yes. Well, no. I don’t know. There are many different types of people so who am I to say that it was weird for someone of his intelligence to be with that specific fraternity… anyway, his name is Adam-”

“Shiro. The point.” He prompted his uncharacteristically scatterbrained brother.

“W-w-we kissed!” Shiro started breathing heavily with a light blush dusting his cheeks.

Never in Keith’s entire life had he heard of his brother being interested in a guy. So, Shiro’s guilt and needing Keith, his gay brother, was starting to make sense. “You kissed a  _ guy _ ?”

“Well, he kissed me, but I kissed back!” Shiro’s face was drenched in guilt. “I cheated on Allura, and I know things between us haven’t been perfect, but it was no excuse and now I feel so guilty, but my guilt is just a feeling that lets me feel better for doing what I did, which I still don’t, but what I’m saying is that it’s an emotion that makes me hate myself less, because, hey, at least I feel guilty about it, but to really make this right I need to actually do something about-”

“Shiro!” Keith took his brother’s frantic hands and set them on the table. “What did you tell Allura?”

Shiro just stared at him wide-eyed, eyebrows upturned.

“You didn’t tell her?” Keith asked incredulously.

“I-I just really needed to talk to you first. I don’t know what to do.” Shiro started.

“You need to tell her.” Keith was firm. “That’s the first thing you should have done, because it should be her decision whether she wants to break up with you or give you another chance. Yeah, this could really hurt her, but a kiss is… well, friends kiss all the time, so maybe she won’t even care. She knows you don’t have a history with liking guys, so maybe it was just the alcohol.”

Shiro looked Keith straight on. “You know that’s not how it works, Keith.” He took a breath. “Yeah, I haven’t been interested in guys before, but it was  _ more  _ than a ‘friendly’ kiss. I don’t do friendly kisses. I don’t think most people do friendly kisses.”

“I don’t know. It’s probably more common than you’d think.” Keith mumbled under his breath, then spoke up. “So, you want my advice? As a gay guy?”

Shiro gave him an incredulous look. “No. I want your advice as my brother.”

Keith nodded, although, he wasn’t entirely sure why Shiro thought he’d even have any good advice to give. He wasn’t exactly an expert. “Hm, okay.” He started cautiously. He  _ really  _ wanted to be able to help Shiro. “Well, first things first, do you want to be with Allura?”

“I…” Shiro looked down at his hands. “I don’t know. I love her, I do, but I think the type of love has changed over the years…” Shiro noticeably saddened. “But I really care about her and maybe we could fall in love again.”

Keith sat up, straightening his posture. “I think you should tell her what happened.” Shiro slowly nodded as Keith spoke. “A relationship is a partnership. Even if you want to try to make things work, it’s also Allura’s decision. If she wants to stay, then that’s definitely something you should share with her. If staying together is going to make you both happy then go for it.” Keith cleared his throat and continued. “But, uh, if she leaves, or you decide you aren’t happy, then you have the freedom to explore this, um, newly discovered side of yourself.” He felt like that sounded alright, though he was hardly the guy to give any kind of advice let alone  _ relationship  _ advice.

“A big worry of mine, though, if we decide to split, is how will it affect the friend group? We  _ are _ kind of the parents.” Shiro quirked a smile. His anxieties didn’t let it last long though. He was too upset with himself.

“The friend group will always be here for both of you. I, for one, never liked having a second set of parents anyway.” He joked. “But we will all be fine. If you and Allura break up, it’s not the end of the world. You are both adult enough to do it amicably. The friend group will be fine.” He reassured his brother.

Shiro huffed a small laugh. “Sounds like you should listen to your own advice.”

“This isn’t about me and Lance, Shiro. Besides, we’re nowhere near being adults.” Keith sighed. “Just talk to Allura.”

Shiro looked up, concerned. “I feel like she’ll want to try. She’s too understanding. I don’t want her sacrificing her own happiness just to make things work.”

“Allura’s strong. Yeah, she might want to make it work, but if it’s something unforgivable she’ll let you know.” Keith gave a small shrug.

“Yeah, that’s true.” He gave a fond laugh, then sighed. “It’s just… we’ve been having a rough patch for a little while now, and she’s been really great at trying to make things work.” Shiro rubbed a hand down his face. “And here I go… I-I just don’t deserve her, honestly. I’m so horrible.”

“You’re not horrible. Yeah, you messed up, but you’re human.” Keith leaned forward to catch his brother’s eyes. “You made a mistake, but this one thing doesn’t define you.”

Shiro sat back. “I still can’t believe I let myself do it.”

“Hey, you can’t change the past. What matters now is what you’re going to do to fix it. And what you’ve learned from it will help you grow as a person.” Keith gave a small shrug. “The best thing you can do is try. Regardless if you’re staying with Allura or not, you still owe her an apology.”

“Absolutely.” Shiro nodded. “And Keith?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.” He smiled.

Keith shook his head. “I didn’t really do anything.”

“You’re a hell of a brother. I haven’t been able to focus on any coherent thoughts all morning. All I’ve been feeling is this terrible heavy weight burning in my chest. I couldn’t concentrate on anything, but feeling like a complete asshole.”

Keith swallowed and glanced away. He tried not to think about his guilt for kissing Lance. “It sucks, making a mistake that feels so irreversible, but I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to come to me about it.”

“I trust you.” Shiro lightly punched Keith’s arm. “You act like you don’t know anything about relationships or communicating in general,”-Keith rolled his eyes at the accurate observation-“but you’re actually quite smart in the topic. I’ve noticed it. On the special occasion where you do give advice to our friends, it’s good advice. Perhaps it has something to do with all the reading you do. A great deal of them are romance novels, right?”

Keith groaned. “They’re more than just that. But, yes, I read a lot of things concerning human relations. And just because some are ‘romance’ doesn’t mean they have good advice.”

“Regardless, thank you.” Shiro smiled at him.

“Just go do the right thing. Talk to Allura.” Keith stood with Shiro.

“Will do.” His brother replied.

Keith knew Shiro would be beating himself up over the possibility that he hurt Allura for a while. Even though his brother seemed lighter as they walked out of the cafe, he knew his heart would be heavy for a while. 

It was odd to be able to give that advice so easily to his brother when he couldn’t even begin to understand his own predicament. It was always harder when it regarded himself. He was happier to help others with their problems and ignore his own.

Speaking of which, he was on his way home.

_ Home. _

A place where his best friend was probably still fast asleep.

Part of him was embarrassed about his actions. He felt bad for kissing Lance when there really wasn’t much of a reason to feel bad about it. Lance certainly hadn’t expressed any disgust or regret. But wasn’t he still taking advantage since he was hiding his feelings? Then there was Keith’s horrid behavior toward Lance when he’d opened up about that mystery guy. Jealousy was an ugly color. But, possibly the most embarrassing, was his unofficial confession.

Then again, most of him was happy about their time together. They talked for the longest time they had in months. Even with the distance Keith put between them, spending that alone time together had felt as natural as breathing. It was like he hadn’t been avoiding his best friend at all. He was relieved that Lance wasn’t upset at him. That they could still talk like normal. 

For the most part.

It still surprised Keith that Lance had been keeping such a secret from him. Being “obsessed” with some guy was a big deal, but then again Keith had been keeping his own feelings private. 

Hopefully Lance would act normal with him. Their last conversation wasn’t exactly resolved or even discussed much, even though Lance seemed interested in talking about it further. Keith still didn’t know whether he wanted to have that conversation again or not. What would he even say?

_ I love you, Lance. I have for years. I will probably never get over you.  _

No. That would be far too humiliating. 

But Keith feared that eventually “humiliating” would feel far less painful than keeping his dirty secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, what was up with Shiro? Weird guy, huh? Sounds like he could use a vacay? Or maybe some dick haha jk… unless?  
> ALSO, did anyone straighten their posture when they read the word “posture”? I know I do it every time (unless I'm lying in bed) xD Thanks for reading! <3


	6. Further Establishing The "Homie" Title

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some would say this chapter is rather self-indulgent, I would say nay, this whole fic is self-indulgent. Thank you and goodnight.  
> There's art for the bonus bit at the bottom <333 made by my amazing friend, Jelly!

The first thing Keith noticed was the apartment was unusually quiet. Which typically meant Lance was asleep or gone entirely. It was still early enough for Keith to assume he was sleeping off their drunken night of dancing and secret spillage.

As quietly as he could, Keith creaked open Lance’s door. He peeked his head in to check on his best friend, but the bed was empty. There were no signs of Lance anywhere in his room. Was he actually in the apartment just being quiet? That didn’t seem likely.

“Hey, Keith.” A familiar voice came from behind him.

Keith jumped as his heart leapt out of his chest.

Hunk just smiled at him as he turned around. “Whatcha doing there?”

Keith’s hand clung to his shirt where his heart would be. “ _ Fuck _ , Hunk.”

“Sorry, dude,” he laughed, then continued walking toward the kitchen. “I didn’t mean to startle ya.”

Keith took a few moments to calm his racing heart, then walked after Hunk. “I-I was just checking in on Lance.” He explained.

Hunk had the kitchen in an organized chaos like he usually did when he was cooking. A dish full of bright colors sat on the counter in front of him while he added other various elements. Hunk just continued working swiftly as he spoke. “Oh, he left a little bit ago.”

“Oh,” he cleared his throat as he sat at one of the breakfast bar chairs, watching Hunk’s talented hands chop without hesitation. “Did he, uh, say where?”

Hunk shrugged. “Just said he’d be back later.” He added some diced sweet onions to the dish, then smiled at it. “I was surprised he was up so early. You guys stayed up later than me.”

Keith snorted. “Yeah, do you remember who carried you inside from the car?”

Hunk nodded. “Barely, but yeah. I appreciate you guys.”

Keith gave him a small smile then scratched his head. “What are you making?”

“It’s a veggie casserole for dinner that I  _ wasn’t going to  _ start until later, but work called. I gotta cover for Ash. So, I won’t be back until later tonight. Just pop this in the oven at 350 for a half an hour when you guys start getting hungry.”

If Hunk was leaving, then that meant Keith would be alone with Lance yet again. All his hard work at attempting to avoid his best friend for the past few months was starting to feel pointless. There was no way he could keep that up for the rest of his life. He already agreed to get over himself and his feelings to be a good friend. To be present.

But that was before he kissed Lance.

That complicated things a bit. But not enough for Keith to stop trying. Sure his insides were all whack and he wasn’t quite sure how to act around his best friend without downing five shots, but he’d have to make it work. Lance was more important than his internal turmoil.

“You’re too good to us. Go spoil your girlfriend instead.” Keith teased.

“Ah!” Hunk covered his blushing face. “I can’t believe you just said it out loud! It’s still unbelievable.”

Keith huffed a laugh. “Better get used to it. You’re in a relationship.” He smiled at Hunk as he started cleaning up the mess. “If anyone deserves to be in a happy, loving relationship with the person of their desires it’s you.”

Hunk smiled back. “Thanks, Keith. But I’m not the only one who deserves that. Well, more like you guys just  _ need  _ to finally do it.” He laughed.

Keith squinted. “What do you mean by that?”

Hunk was in the middle of taking a pile of dirty dishes to the sink when he turned to give Keith an incredulous look. “What do you mean what do  _ I  _ mean? I’m talking about the most obvious meant-to-be duo in the history of best friends.” He dropped the dishes off and wrapped the top of the casserole with plastic wrap to tuck it into the fridge for safe keeping.

Keith took deliberate breaths, otherwise he would have forgotten to. No, he wasn’t panicking per say. Hunk could have meant a lot of different things by that. It didn’t mean he knew about Keith’s feelings. Surely Shiro hadn’t told anyone. There was no way Hunk meant it in the way Keith thought.

“I’m sorry.” He heard Hunk speak up when he hadn’t said anything. “I forgot that you guys think you’re slick.” He gave Keith a fond smile. “You don’t have to say anything, but just know that I’ve been your guys’ friend for a long time. I  _ know  _ you guys.” He saw Keith’s worried expression and just continued smiling. “Don’t worry, dude. I haven’t said anything to anyone else for the past four years. Why would I  _ now _ ?” 

Keith was about to ask Hunk how he even knew from that long ago, but he closed his mouth, thinking better of it. It was better to just let the conversation die and never bring it up again. If he couldn’t even talk to himself about it, then he definitely wasn’t at a point where he would be able to talk about his insane crush on Lance _ out loud _ to Hunk.

Maybe he  _ should  _ talk about it to himself.

“Uh, thanks.” Keith swallowed, then left the kitchen to isolate himself in his room before Hunk could respond.

He needed to do some deep thinking.

Was it wrong for Keith to continue being friends with Lance without telling him how he felt? Was Hunk trying to tell him to just make a move already? Was he that obvious? If he were, then had Lance noticed? Was he okay with it? Was he just dealing with it, because they were best friends?

As much as he wanted to work through all of his anxieties and the endless questions he thought up, he ended up falling asleep, which had also been very much needed. He would just have to get to those questions later.

Keith didn’t usually dream, but he did remember feeling a hand brush the hair off his forehead. It felt so real. So warm. He recalled trying to keep the hand with him, but his body had been incapacitated with heavy sleep. So the hand left him and he woke some time after, groggy and unsatisfied. Sure, his nap fulfilled one aspect of his needs, but the feeling that hand gave him was something special. Maybe it was because he wasn’t used to such gentle acts or maybe the hand was just really unique. Keith knew it didn’t make sense, but he was guessing that he’d have to dive deep into his next dream to figure it out.

With a stretch and yawn, Keith sat up on his bed. He looked around his little room, mostly barren of clutter save a few knick-knacks Lance and his dad had given him. A smile involuntarily spread across his face when his eyes landed on a fragile looking origami piece. Lance took on a lot of different hobbies that he’d usually discard within a couple of weeks, but for some reason, no matter how hard he failed, he kept trying at origami. Keith didn’t think it was that hard, but then again he had his dad to teach him. Lance was just doing it on his own. And he was a clumsy sixteen year old at the time. He told Lance it was admirable, learning a skill on your own. He could still perfectly recall how Lance’s face lit up at that. Perhaps it was because Keith wasn’t one to often compliment others.

The next day, Lance had presented Keith with a cute little lion made of red folded paper. It was a mildly complex piece, one that had to have taken longer than a night to make for someone of Lance’s skill level. Keith knew that Lance must have been working on it for a while. He also knew that Lance knew his favorite color was red and that he was particularly fond of lions, so it had been clear that his best friend started working on it with the intention of giving it to Keith. Never in his life had it been so hard to conceal his smile.

It was a precious gift and even more precious memory for Keith.

He stood and left his room, a small smile still on his lips. Smiles were easier to allow in the present day.

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been asleep. It couldn’t have been that long if Lance still wasn’t home. Not that he knew that for sure, but the apartment was still deadly silent. It wasn’t likely that Lance would just be quietly sitting in the living room reading a book.

“Oh, hey. You’re up.” Lance hopped up from the couch and walked over to where Keith had just entered the living room.

Keith’s smile turned into mild confusion.

Okay, so he hadn’t been reading a book, but Lance was  _ home _ . He had just been sitting quietly on the couch playing with his phone. Not blasting music or groaning loudly about homework or singing some made up song at the top of his lungs. Weird.

“Uh, hey. When did you get home?” Keith looked his best friend up and down habitually. 

Lance looked good. He always looked good, but he impressively didn’t look like someone who was hungover whatsoever. He was dressed in tight jeans and his favorite blue hoodie, which didn’t sound odd in theory, but  _ something  _ was off. Lance was close enough for Keith to smell his ocean aftershave, which was normal. His eyes were bright and full of life like always.

What had Keith’s gut convinced something was wrong?

Lance looked over Keith's recently wakened face and bed head with a smile. “A little bit ago. I see you took a nap.” He lifted his hand to brush his fingers through Keith’s hair.

It felt oddly familiar.

But it was Lance. He was always touching Keith.

Keith tried not to inhale sharply as Lance wrapped his arm around his shoulders. It wasn’t hard. After time, it became easier for Keith to hide and hold in what he was feeling. It was practically a skill he perfected over time. He was used to it, but somehow Lance’s touch was the only thing that never got old. Every time without fail his heart would tingle with bittersweet pangs as his stomach filled with vicious butterflies. Lance was magnetizing. It simply wasn’t fair. And yet, Keith never felt cheated.

He revelled in his best friend’s warmth. “I, uh, didn’t get enough sleep before Shiro woke me this morning. What time is it?”

“Around two I think.” Lance said as he guided them to the couch where they plopped down together.

Keith groaned. “I almost slept for  _ three  _ hours?”

“Hey, you needed it.” Lance pulled Keith’s face to look at his. “Yeah, your skin is thanking you.” He smiled.

Keith rolled his eyes and lightly pulled out of Lance’s hold. Their faces were too close and Keith couldn’t handle that. Even though that was just Lance being Lance. It would just always be different for Keith. Especially since their kiss and-

Wait.

_ That  _ was what was wrong.

Lance was the  _ same _ . He was still his bright, effervescent self that was overly touchy with Keith. Their kiss hadn’t changed anything. Nor their tense conversations. Not even how Keith had acted like a total asshat. He was still  _ Lance _ . Keith hadn’t realized just how worried he was that Lance was going to ignore him or act different with him. Yet there they were, being the same old best friends they usually were. Even after everything.

Keith swallowed.

Vivid memories of their intimate time together started overtaking his brain. He had temporarily forgotten just exactly what they had done last night. Keith’s heart started to speed up. Great, now he was going to act weird. Lance was fine and Keith was a wreck. Just perfect. As long as he didn’t show it-

“You okay?” Lance tilted his head, worried.

“I, uh, yeah. I-I’m fine.” Keith lied.

Lance leaned in even closer to examine Keith’s features, unconvinced. “You can’t hide anything from me, Keith Kogane.”

_ I fucking hope I can. At least  _ one  _ thing. _

If Lance knew his feelings, then Keith would just have to move to Alaska and spend the rest of his days raising sled dogs in isolation. Which actually didn’t sound too bad. It was something he could certainly deal with.

Lance was searching him like he’d injured himself. Keith grabbed his best friend’s hands and held them away from him. “Honestly, Lance. I’m  _ fine _ .”

“You just seem off.” He frowned. “W-was it because of last night? Was it the talks or our kis-”

“No!” He hadn’t meant to say it so loudly. “N-nope, not that. No, I’m good. Great, even.” He continued his “elaborate” lie.

“ _ Really _ ?” Lance didn’t look persuaded, then his face dropped. “Did… did it make you  _ uncomfortable _ ?”

Keith was starting to sweat. God, Lance was way too close to him to be his cute, caring self talking about kissing and feelings. 

“No. Not at all. Honestly.” He didn’t even have to lie that time.

Lance seemed to accept that response. “Then what’s up? You can always feel free to talk to me openly. You know that. Just give it to me straight.”

There was no way Keith would ever be able to give anything to Lance  _ straight _ . 

_ Gay? Oh, for sure. Straight? Less likely. _

Oh, god.

Keith internally rolled his eyes at himself. There were more important things at hand and his brain was convinced jokes were the way to deal with them. Wasn’t that how Lance dealt with things? So what was in the switch of personalities? Lance was so serious and Keith was using questionable humor as a coping mechanism.

“I-I don’t know. I’m just surprised, I guess.” Keith looked down at his hands as he picked at his fingers.

“Why?” He heard Lance nearly whisper. “About  _ what _ ?”

Keith really tried to think of a lie, but his brain short-circuited and decided the truth was so unbelievable it was practically the same thing as lying. “T-t-that things are  _ normal _ , and not a-awkward. After… well, everything, I guess.”

Lance furrowed his brows in confusion. “Why would they be awkward?” He cocked his head in thought. “And I wouldn’t exactly say  _ normal _ . I think ‘better’ is the right word.” He smirked.

Keith cleared his throat. “I guess I just thought it was going to be awkward. We  _ were  _ kinda intoxicated.”

“Barely.” Lance mumbled.

“What do you mean?” He looked over at his best friend.

Lance looked at Keith’s hands like they were the most interesting thing in the room at that moment. “I wasn’t even buzzed for the second half of the party, so I was practically sober when we got home.”

Keith was confused. Lance was usually so sloppy drunk by the end of the parties that he always had to carry him into the car. Obviously he hadn’t been that way last night, but Keith had thought he was a little drunk at least. “Why did you stop drinking?”

Lance shrugged casually, looking back up to meet Keith’s eyes. “Someone had to look after you.”

Keith huffed a laugh. “I think I’m capable of looking after myself.”

Lance gave him a skeptical expression. “That’s hilarious. Do you even remember how you got to Shiro’s car?”

“Uh, with my feet?”

Lance shook his head, then jammed a thumb at himself. “I helped your sloppy ass this time.” He smirked.

“Oh.” Keith knew some parts of the party were a little fuzzy, but he hadn’t realized Lance did that for him. “So, for o-our, uh, conversations you were  _ sober _ ?” 

He still couldn’t vocalize the fact that they had kissed, so he avoided it completely.

Lance nodded. “Pretty much. And for when we kissed.” Lance seemed to have no problem bringing it up. “I thought you were too.”

Keith remembered he had been losing his buzz, but chugged another beer to feel the release of his anxieties. “I-I was. Mostly.”

Lance pursed his lips. “Yeah, I figured. I don’t think I would’ve liked kissing you for the first time if you were drunk off your ass. It’s a completely different feeling.” He laughed.

Keith tried to ignore the heat in his chest. He tried to ignore the fact that of course Lance would know the difference. He really didn’t want to think about him kissing other people if he could help it. So, a distraction was in order. “You  _ like _ kissing your best friend even though you have someone else you’re ‘obsessed’ with.” Apparently talking about him liking someone else was better. He tried to sound indifferent. He wasn’t sure he came across completely devoid of emotion. 

Lance rolled his eyes. “Not  _ this  _ again.”

Keith shrugged. “Just sayin’.” He swallowed, realizing he had something more important to say to his best friend. “But, uh, I wasn’t exactly nice to you last night, Lance. I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have acted like-”

“I’m not worried about that, Keith.” Lance’s stare was so bold and unrelenting, but Keith could see a slight nervous edge to it. “If you really wanna know who it is I’ll tell you…  _ if  _ you tell me who you were in love with.”

Keith thought about it for a split second, then realized it wasn’t even worth considering. “I-I don’t think I want to know.” He looked away.

Lance sighed, sliding down the couch until he was slouched in a rather uncomfortable looking position. “I know  _ you know _ that I care about you no matter what, since we’re best friends, so I can say this without you getting offended. ‘Cause goddamn Keith you’re so aggravating sometimes.”  _ Ouch.  _ “Just a stupid, blind, dense dummy and I can’t stand it!” Lance sighed. “But I love you so I guess I’ll just have to get over it.”

Keith’s heart fluttered at Lance’s “I love you”, but they were already far past the point of saying that to each other for the first time. Platonically, of course. Just best buds being regular ole homies: hugging, occasionally cuddling, and saying “I love you” to each other.

Keith tried processing what his best friend had just verbally slapped him with. “I’m supposed to  _ not  _ be offended by that?”

Lance looked over at Keith with a serious expression. “Yes.”

Keith just took a breath and accepted it. “Okay.”

They both looked forward to the black tv screen, silently ruminating different things that were quite similar.

Self-deprecation and masochism came easy after some time. He wasn’t sure what he did, but if Lance thought it was an accurate description then perhaps he deserved the titles.

It only took Lance two minutes to interrupt the silence with a groan, laying his head on Keith’s shoulder. “I don’t actually mean that. You’re not stupid! You’re really smart.” He sighed. “I’m just taking out my own frustrations on you.”

“No, you’re right. I’m stupid-”

“Don’t you dare talk that way about my best friend.” Lance glared up at him. Keith huffed a laugh. “You’re amazing. Don’t you dare forget that.” He threatened playfully, leaning in closer.

Keith rolled his eyes, ignoring the warmth emanating from his best friend. “Yeah, sure.”

He wasn’t sure how it happened so fast, but Lance was insanely close. They weren’t talking anymore, just staring at each other. There was something in Lance’s ocean eyes that had Keith’s gut roaring. He felt his breaths becoming shallower and his heart speed up. And Lance just continued to lean in, closer and closer. If Keith didn’t do anything it seemed like he was going to kiss him. Would that be okay? Could he handle it? He wasn’t sure, but he knew he was completely sober. And that was frightening enough.

Keith leaned in further and wrapped his arms around Lance as he tucked his head in his best friend’s shoulder.

“Woah.” Lance was taken aback, even though it seemed like he was just about to kiss Keith. “To what god do I have to thank for making this happen?” He laughed softly.

Keith gently breathed in the scent of Lance’s coconut shampoo. “I’m just hugging you. It’s not a divine act.”

Lance’s hands came up around Keith’s back, holding him firmly against himself. “I beg to differ. You never hug me first.” His voice was soft and sweet.

Keith liked it way too much.

“I do too. Just not often.” He huffed, thankful that his face was perfectly placed in the crook of Lance’s neck. Out of sight. Where Lance couldn’t see his quickly forming blush.

He felt Lance breath in deep.

“Well, I’m grateful this is one of those times. It’s nice.” Lance squeezed Keith a little tighter.

Keith squeezed back, then thought for a moment before gently pushing them both down on the couch.

Lance tensed a little. “W-what are you-”

Keith mumbled something into Lance’s chest as they laid down together.

Lance tried to get a better look at Keith’s face, but he was tucked firmly in his chest. “What was that?”

Keith could hear the humor in his voice.

He lifted his head for a moment to playfully glare at his best friend. Lance was just staring back at him with a bright smile and fond eyes. 

“Cuddling you.” He tried again. “I’m just cuddling you.”

He hid his face again as Lance laughed at him.

“Oh my god. You’re so cute.” Lance blurted.

Keith groaned. “I’m not a two year old!” He complained, but on the inside he was experiencing joyful chaos.

“Oh, that’s right. You’re five now, right? Just had a birthday?” Lance teased.

Keith resisted the urge to bite his best friend. It was exactly something a five year old would do. He was just being a good friend by cuddling Lance. He knew Lance enjoyed it and Keith would be lying if he said he didn’t either. He was just being nice... 

He felt Lance shift, getting more comfortable. One that had their legs intertwined and Keith halfway on top of him. It was a more intimate position, if that was possible, but Keith didn’t mind. He decided that commenting on anything that could be construed as slightly sexual would only encourage Lance’s bad jokes and Keith’s own internal misery.

Lance felt like home.

They talked for another hour before Keith felt his eyes getting heavy. He couldn’t help it. Lance was just so warm and incredibly comfortable, even with how bony he seemed. He was so at peace when he was with Lance. Which was odd, because his mind was always in a chaotic turmoil about him. But when they were together, especially close like that, Keith couldn’t help but feel at ease.

At some point, he had let his eyes close. His words became slurred and his answers slow. A bit after that, he stopped responding altogether, and only moments later he was lightly snoring.

Keith didn’t feel like he dreamt, but he did feel that comforting hand again. Caressing his forehead, threading its fingers through his hair, gently tracing Keith’s facial features in a way that would’ve been creepy had Keith not enjoyed it so thoroughly.

His second rest was by far the superior nap of the day.

~

Lance tried keeping his breathing to a minimum in order not to disturb Keith. He expertly whipped out his phone and snapped a pic before sending it to Hunk.

**Lance:** OMG

**Lance:** DUDE

**Lance:** It’s fckin happening!!!!!

**Hunk:** aww, so cute <3

**Hunk:** but uuuuhhh haven’t u guys done this before??

**Lance:** that’s not the POINT

**Lance:** the POINT is that it’s happening AGAIN

**Lance:** AND *~KEITH~* INITIATED IT

**Lance:** I can die happy

**Hunk:** ok loverboy, calm down

**Hunk:** if u die now then u guys will never get to date

**Lance:** asdjfl;kja how dare u fite me with such logic!

**Lance:** but u kinda right tho…

**Lance:** not like that wld ever happen

**Lance:** Keith’s a big dummy T^T

**Hunk:** a big dummy u loooovveee

**Lance:** O///^///O

**Lance:** hardly relevant…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ART DONE BY MY WONDERFUL FRIEND, Jelly <3 https://jellyfish-dungeon.tumblr.com/
> 
> Uh, I wanna make a fic centered around texting cuz it’s sooooo fun. Hard for me to think of how other ppl shorthand though. I tend to write everything out unless I’m in a big rush, so I’m just trying to think of how I would text if I were rushing. But it was fun so will do again sometime <3  
> 


	7. An Important Breakdown And Revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so ready for Keith to be happy. I can only handle so much angst myself lol but Keith be an angsty boi what can I say??  
> Also, I’m posting early?! Whhaaa??
> 
> WARNING: Anxiety Attack

Keith wondered what it was like to be cheated on. 

He figured it wouldn’t hurt as much in the beginning of a relationship since he didn’t think he’d be as invested. But if it were Lance… he would be heartbroken regardless. Keith tried to ignore the metaphorical relationship between him and his best friend. He had deep thinking to focus on.

He supposed the amount of hurt was also dependent on the view of the relationship. The pain of infidelity seemed like it would be worse for those in monogamous relationships, where promises were made to only be with each other, but he quickly realized it would also hurt those in other types of relationships. Boundaries get established in any relationship: unique, traditional, or otherwise. Knowing that, Keith figured that cheating could appear in many different forms. He couldn’t think of  _ all  _ the ways, but it usually centered around a breach in trust. Cheating wasn’t just physical, but emotional as well, which provided even more opportunities for deceit in relationships.

Keith took a deep breath. The more he allowed himself to dwell on the depressing topic of dishonesty and violations of trust, the less he saw himself in a relationship. He shouldn’t have even thought about it all, but he was at Shiro’s apartment so it was on his mind. 

He didn’t think his brother was a horrible person, because one action shouldn’t define a person, but he wasn’t happy about it. He really loved Allura, and knew she deserved someone who was committed to her. He had just thought that person was his brother. Not only had Allura trusted Shiro, but so had Keith.

Shiro was supposed to be perfect.

Maybe that was unfair of Keith to think. 

Shiro was human. He was diligent in nearly every area of his life. Perhaps Shiro’s own pressure on, or uncertainty within, himself and who he was caused the leniency he gave himself that night at the party. Maybe it was the stress. Maybe it was the number of other factors that built up over time. It could’ve been a lot of things.

With all the time Keith spent thinking about it, and not getting a clear cut answer, he felt incredibly frustrated. Maybe the answer didn’t even matter, because no matter what it was it didn’t make what Shiro did  _ right _ . He should’ve broken up with Allura before even thinking about cheating on her.

Was he even thinking? Was that partially the problem? 

Was Keith any better?

He could barely think straight when Lance was around him. It surely clouded his reasoning. He wasn’t cheating on anyone, but he  _ was _ being deceitful. Keith was okay with Lance being his best friend, but would Lance be okay with it if he knew? If he knew that Keith was holding onto feelings so much more than just that. Was he taking advantage of Lance? Was he unintentionally using him? Would Lance feel betrayed? Hurt? Sickened?

Would Lance  _ hate  _ him if he found out?

Keith’s chest was tightening quickly, making breathing a difficult chore. He tried to inhale deeper, to make up for the air he was losing, but his chest faltered. He didn’t recognize the anxiety attack coming on until Shiro paused the movie to check on him. Every breath seemed to get stuck in his throat, becoming a gasp. Before Keith knew it, his head was between his knees while Shiro grounded him with a hand on his back. It didn’t last very long, but it definitely wasn’t one of the shorter attacks Keith has had in his life.

It had been a little over a year since his last anxiety attack. They were devastatingly frequent in middle school. It wasn’t until Keith had met Lance freshman year did he even recognize a change. They weren’t gone completely, but he was no longer having to deal with them several times a week. They had calmed to once every other month, which had been a vast improvement.

After graduation, Keith only experienced a few during the start of college, but since then he had been doing spectacular. So to have one in the comfort of his brother’s apartment after a couple years of being free of them was almost torturous. He couldn’t believe how many he had to deal with when he was younger. 

The tightening in his chest eventually yielded, leaving Keith with a familiar ache. He was massively relieved to participate in the simple joy that was breathing. It was something he always took for granted until it was taken away.

_ Fuck _ .

Shiro was probably staring at him, worried out of his mind. But Keith couldn’t bring it in himself to sit up. To see his brother’s face. There would be questions. Keith would have to provide answers. He was only half-sure what had brought on his attack. It seemed silly, but his emotions had serious consequences. He had almost forgotten that since living the luxurious life, free of anxiety attacks.

“Keith.” Shiro was gentle, but didn’t wait long enough for his brother to recover fully, which Keith could’ve been glad to do for another hour. Just to really gather his thoughts in a less stressful way. “What happened?” He nearly whispered.

Keith focused on breathing steadily before he made any effort to talk. “I-”  _ Damnit _ . It was getting hard to breathe again, but it wasn’t because of an attack. Tears pricked his eyes as he tried to bite back the emotion welling up in his throat. “ _ Fuck _ .” He tried to sound angry, but it just came out as a broken sob.

Shiro wrapped his arms around his brother, staying silent. As soon as Keith felt his brother’s strong grip, another sob racked through him involuntarily. He leaned against Shiro, finding comfort in his warmth. He kept begging his tears not to fall, but with Shiro holding him so tightly he couldn’t help it when all of his emotions just exploded. The anger he felt at not being able to control himself came out of him in the form of his rapidly escaping tears. All he could do was acquiesce to the storm of emotions inside him.

Keith couldn’t even remember the last time he cried.

He wanted to hate himself for being so weak. For letting his emotions get the best of him. But his sobs were so powerful he couldn’t even think. The distraction granted peace in his mind as he whimpered in the arms of his brother. 

The silence in his head was  _ euphoric _ . 

Slowly, his inner turmoil was escaping him through the physical catharsis. It became so relieving that Keith no longer gave a damn about how foolish he looked. The pain was subsiding. Everything he had held inside, that festered and built up and pressurized, was being released. A weight he hadn’t known he’d been carrying was sliding off his shoulders.

God, it felt good to cry.

Keith spoke up after a while. “Sorry.” He sniffled.

Shiro positioned him so he could see his face. “Don’t apologize.” He shook his head. “What’s going on, Keith?”

Keith focused on the floor as he shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Do you really?” Shiro questioned gently.

Keith just sighed, leaning back on the couch and closing his eyes. “I-I…” He took a breath. “I’m in love with Lance.” He exhaled, releasing the self-determined sin out into the world.

He was finally admitting it to himself. Sure, he had told Lance he had been in love with  _ someone _ , but he was finally attaching Lance’s name to the heavy phrase. Finally  _ accepting  _ it. Being able to do that made Keith feel insanely light. But it wasn’t without its cons. While he accepted it, it still made him feel guilty. He was never going to be able to outrun that feeling until he told Lance.

Shiro cleared his throat. “Is this a  _ new  _ revelation?” He knew Keith’s feelings way before his brother had even realized them himself.

“Uh, yeah. I suppose.” Keith sniffled some more. “I was in denial for a while.”

Shiro gently nodded. “Being honest with yourself is important. Otherwise, you get increasingly more frustrated within and don’t even know why, because you’re lying to yourself. I’m proud of you.”

Keith took a deep breath, then turned to face his brother. “Thanks.”

“Is there anything you want to talk through? You just had an attack. I’m willing to bet there’s more going on than just that.” Shiro gripped Keith’s shoulder reassuringly. “Not to say that realizing you love your best friend isn’t stressful enough, but you just haven’t had an attack in so long. You must’ve had a lot that you were processing in there.” He gently tapped Keith’s head.

Keith swallowed. “I-uh, yeah.” He didn’t really want to talk about it with anyone, but he knew that if he just kept holding it inside he would explode again. He didn’t want to go through another attack. “I suppose… I’m just…  _ so _ …  _ so  _ fucking worried.” 

Shiro just nodded, letting Keith have a chance to gather his thoughts.

“If I tell Lance how I feel… h-he’ll hate me. Or think I’m disgusting, o-or-”

“Lance would  _ never  _ think that. He couldn’t hate you even if he tried, Keith.” Shiro reassured him. “I’m surprised you don’t see what everyone else sees…”

“I don’t have to see what everyone else sees to know that he’s a good friend. I get that. But I’ve been hiding something really major from him. What if I lose him? I don’t think I could handle that.” Keith blinked away the tears beginning to form.

“Keith, you won’t-”

“How do you  _ know _ ?” Keith nearly shouted, begging for some kind of way to  _ know  _ that Lance wouldn’t hate him. “There’s no way to know… unless I actually tell him.”

Shiro hummed. “You’ve been really killing yourself over this, huh?”

Keith didn’t say anything. He just looked out the living room window. The cool, blue Sunday sky swirled with the setting sun’s warm colors, painting a beautiful sunset. It had been a couple hours since Keith had gone over to his brother’s apartment to talk about what happened with Allura. Shiro had explained Allura’s desire to take a break from their relationship, both for herself and for Shiro to get a grip of who he was. Allura wasn’t happy, but she wasn’t devastated, which made her realize how much they’d actually grown apart. They still had love for each other, but it wasn’t like it used to be.

Keith had turned on the TV afterward to get his mind off it. It hadn’t been long before Keith had his anxiety attack, proving the distraction to be insufficient. Which led to everything that happened, and presently, Shiro staring at him, waiting for an answer.

“I wouldn’t say  _ killing _ …” He finally responded.

Shiro sighed. “Keith… you’ve been obsessing over something you can’t control. Lance will react how he will, which, yes, is scary, but you have to tell him no matter what. You’re agonizing over this. It won’t stop until you tell him. And for what it’s worth, I don’t believe he’ll have the reaction you’re scared he’ll have.”

Keith took a deep breath, turning to look at his brother. “But what if he  _ does _ ? What if he never wants to see me again? What if never telling him is the only way we get to stay best friends?”

Shiro gave Keith a firm look. “Would that make you feel better? Hiding the feelings that are eating you up inside? For the rest of your life? Is that fair to you? To  _ Lance _ ?”

Keith ran a hand down his face. “No.” He groaned.

“Confessing to him might just surprise you. And being best friends before being in a relationship is how it should be, in my opinion.” Shiro shrugged a shoulder.

“ _ Relationship _ ?” Keith nearly choked. “I-I couldn’t. There’s no way. Not with Lance. Not with anyone. I…”

“Why’s that?” Shiro questioned.

Keith swallowed. “I-I… I’m scared. In general.” He looked away from his brother. “Of relationships. Of being with someone,  _ committing  _ to them… and getting hurt.” He mumbled the last part, but Shiro heard.

Keith felt his brother shift. “Keith… I’m…I’m  _ so  _ sorry. To you  _ and  _ Allura. I’m working on myself. I really am.” Keith could hear the hurt in his voice.

“I know. I didn’t mean it like that, I’m sorry.” Keith sighed.

“I’m the only one who should apologize. As a person, and especially as your older brother, I should’ve been better.” Shiro acknowledged. “I’m going to  _ be  _ better.”

“Shiro, it’s fine. I know you fucked up and you’re working on it. I  _ know  _ that, and yet…”

“You’re still scared.” Shiro answered for him, then took a breath. “Not all relationships are like mine. They don’t all fail. They don’t all grow apart. It’s a dual effort, and I just wasn’t putting in the effort.  _ I  _ failed. That’s on  _ me _ . It’s not a reflection of other people’s relationships. It’s what a weak person does. I was weak in the moment and I was too weak to break up with Allura in the first place. Relationships are a wonderful, intimate connection between people. It’s scary to open yourself up even without thinking about the cheating part. It’s okay to be afraid, but even though Allura and I didn’t work out, I don’t regret our time together.” Keith looked at his brother, still unsure how to feel. Shiro added. “Not everyone is as shit as me, Keith. Especially not Lance.”

“Lance isn’t even an option.” Keith huffed. “That… that will never happen. I’ve accepted that.”

Shiro was silent for a moment. “I think you should just talk to him.”

“I will.” Keith replied quietly. “Eventually.”

“Soon.” Shiro said firmly. “You’re going to kill yourself over this. Give yourself this upcoming week to think about how you’re going to do it, what to say, and whatnot, then just do it. You’ll feel a lot better.”

“ _ Fuck _ .” Keith wanted to argue, but he knew his brother was right. He should do it. Get it over with.

He practically spent all yesterday cuddling with him. It was only right that he told Lance how he felt. He had a right to know given how often they were in intimate situations. Even though Keith enjoyed those times as his best friend, he also enjoyed them as someone who loved Lance. It sorta changed the dynamic of those occurrences.

Lance just deserved to know in general. He deserved the truth. Keith hated keeping things from him. He didn’t want to keep holding his secret in. He didn’t want to die knowing that Lance would never know how he felt. Never knowing how Lance would react. The not knowing made him queasy. But the guilt and nausea was a good push for Keith. He had thought not telling Lance was better for the both of them. But he now realized telling his best friend would be for the best. It should be Lance’s decision if he wanted to stay friends with Keith or not. 

He  _ had  _ to tell Lance.

“Honestly, I’ve never seen you both more at ease than when you guys are with each other. Some people just fit so exceptionally well that the world could tear them apart and they’d still end up together. That’s how you guys are.” Shiro smiled at Keith. “I don’t think I necessarily believe in soulmates, but you guys are  _ it  _ if there ever were a pair. Even if it’s not in the romantic sense. Your confession won’t keep you guys apart. I honestly only see it bringing you together. Whether or not he returns your feelings. Which he most likely will.” He gave his brother a smile.

Keith sighed. “I sure hope so. I don’t want to lose my best friend.”

It was decided.

He was going to tell Lance how he felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is a lil longer than usual :)  
> THREE CHAPTERS LEFT OMG! Thank you to all of those who have stuck with me T.T much love! <333


	8. Just Some Guys Being Gay At A Library

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was listening to 1000x by Jarryd James when editing and it really fit the feeling of when they're in the library being *ahem* good friends.  
> Also, I usually reread the chapter and notes right before posting, but I didn't get to do that with this one. Wasn't feeling very good. Hope it still reads alright. I appreciate you <3

Keith spent the night at Shiro’s Sunday night in order to gather his thoughts. It was a serious thing, confessing to a best friend. He needed to do it properly. And preparing for what he’d say would help with the anxiety.

Keith wasn’t one to nervously bite his nails. No, he picked at his cuticles, pulling at the skin or annoying hangnails in an attempt to clean them up. But he almost always ended up making them look worse, picking at them in agitation or habit would always result in him bleeding. So, it didn’t exactly ease his troubles, but it was a decent distraction.

Monday came and went without Keith speaking to Lance. He told himself that he needed more time. That figuring out how he was going to tell his best friend he was in love with him was a difficult and precarious task. That he was allowed to take some time to figure it out.

A couple band-aids were used that day for Keith’s fingertips. His nervous habit had him whittling away at his poor hands. His anxiety rattled through him at a nauseating rate every time he planned to talk to Lance. 

He took a couple breaths before making a concrete decision: Friday. He would tell Lance Friday. He wouldn’t pressure himself to see his best friend, meaning he would be avoiding Lance again, and he’d just stay at Shiro’s until then.

He had a plan, but not seeing Lance was a bit depressing. Especially when his best friend texted him nearly every day that week.

**Tuesday -**

**Lance:** why tf haven’t I seen you since Sat dude

**Lance:** are we rly just that busy lol

Keith’s heart clenched when he read the texts.

**Keith:** Sorry, it’s my fault. I’m at Shiro’s

**Keith:** He’s been having some issues…

**Lance:** is everything okay?

**Keith:** It will be

No, he wasn’t exactly  _ proud  _ using his brother as an excuse. Even Shiro was telling Keith to, at the very least, go back home. He urged Keith to figure it out, but he understood that he needed a Lance-less space to gather his thoughts. He graciously agreed to let him stay, but _ only if _ Keith promised to go home by the end of the week. Which Keith had already planned to do.

**Wednesday -**

**Lance:** hey

**Lance:** I bought a new game to play together :)

**Lance:** how bout tonight??

**Keith:** I can’t tonight, maybe Friday night? Lots of homework. Sorry.

**Lance:** okay yeah Friday night for sure!

Keith could already feel himself getting anxious. He was going to see Lance in a couple days. And he  _ wasn’t  _ going to cancel.

The waiting was as equally torturous as it was relieving.

**Thursday -**

**Lance:** hey

**Lance:** hope Shiro’s doing alright

**Keith** : yeah, he’s doing better than he was

**Lance:** I heard what happened

**Lance:** well Allura told me

Keith wondered if Allura mentioned the cheating. She could easily tell the truth. Making it harder for his brother to grow and move past it, but Keith couldn’t see her doing that. She was a better person than that. An  _ astounding  _ person. Knowing her, she probably left that part out.

**Lance:** she said it was mutual

**Lance:** it’s kinda sad, but as long as they’re both happier

**Lance:** wait, is this why you’re with him? Is he having a hard time?

**Keith:** he’s working on it

**Keith:** I’ll probably let him tell you what’s going on regarding him specifically though. Idk how much he’d want me to say.

**Lance:** Of course yeah. I totally understand

**Lance:** you’re a good brother

**Keith:** I promise I haven’t done much

**Lance:** as usual ur underselling urself

**Lance:** ur amazing

**Lance:** get used to it

Keith had been in the middle of a lengthy text about how he was  _ not _ , in fact, amazing or a good brother, that he was technically below average, when Lance texted again. 

**Lance:** hey I’m in class but I’ll text u later :)

**Lance:** see ya tomorrow bestie <3

He backspaced his paragraph in favor of sending a short reply. He forgot how much he missed talking to Lance. Even about random things. He just wanted to keep texting his best friend, or better yet, see him. 

And he would. Friday.

**Keith:** see you tomorrow

Keith had decided that Friday would be a good day to talk. Not just because that was when Shiro told him he had to be out of his apartment or because he’d promised Lance that they’d play that new game. Friday was the day he promised himself that he’d talk to Lance. Confess. He  _ had  _ to go home.

Also, Hunk was going to be out of the apartment that day due to his date with Shay. It provided an opportunity to talk privately. Which should’ve been Keith’s motivator to get himself home to finally confess to his best friend, but it was almost six in the evening and he was still at the college. 

Keith sat, tucked into a corner of the library, continuing to avoid Lance under the pretense of “doing his homework” and not because he was scared or anything.

Which he knew was total bullshit.

Keith  _ knew  _ how he was going to tell Lance. Finally, he had an understanding with himself and how he was going to present his information… but he psyched himself out. He thought about the guy Lance mentioned before. The one he was supposedly “obsessed” with. Just remembering that Lance liked someone made his gut involuntarily curl with a sickening jealousy. He wanted to ignore his stupid feelings, but recalling Lance’s crush made it dissapointingly clear that Lance wouldn’t like him back. He hadn’t thought he even had  _ any  _ hope, but apparently the slightest amount had taken hold in his heart. And was now completely crushed.

Which made his confession all the more difficult to execute.

Keith’s psych homework laid on the oak desk in front of him, completely forgotten about. He couldn’t help that his brain distracted him with thoughts of his best friend and the mysterious guy he was supposedly “obsessed with”. Classic anxiety brain. 

How come he hadn’t heard of him? Lance was always talking about the cutest people in high school. He had never seemed to be afraid of talking to Keith about someone, even though he didn’t pursue most of them. He  _ did  _ flirt a lot, though. And Keith just watched it happen, pretending not to care.

He was starting to get irritated again, so he dropped his head to the library desk and groaned. No one shushed him. It was late in the afternoon on a Friday, so there was hardly a soul in there. And he was, of course, in the very back of the building. The furthest away from prying eyes and eager librarian ears.

As he closed his eyes and tried to breathe through his complex emotions, he felt something warm drape over the back of him. The sudden contact had him straightening out of his relaxed position instinctively. He heard his best friend’s surprised shriek before he saw him. Keith turned around in his chair to see a heavy-breathing Lance holding his chest.

“Jesus Christ, Keith. Don’t scare me like that!” He tried calming his breath as he took the chair next to him.

Keith’s initial shock melted into fondness. 

He huffed a laugh. “You’re the one who scared  _ me _ , you dork.”

It was  _ so  _ good to see him again. The satisfaction of being in Lance’s presence relaxed him immensely. He couldn’t even recall what he had just been stressed over.

“Sorry.” Lance held his hands up in defense. “I thought you were asleep.”

Keith shook his head as his heart warmed at his best friend’s kindness. “No, just frustrated.”—Lance glanced at Keith’s homework—“Thanks though, for the jacket.” He gave a lopsided smile.

Lance cleared his throat. “Yeah, no problem. I, uh, just thought you’d be cold.”

“That’s nothing new. I’m always cold.” Keith shrugged, feeling the extra layer of Lance’s jacket on his shoulders.

“I know!” Lance huffed. “That’s why I’m trying to take care of you, because apparently  _ you _ won’t. Having a permanent ice cold touch can’t be healthy.”

Keith just rolled his eyes as he shook his head. “What are you doing here, anyway?”

“Oh, uh, just browsin’. Perusin’. Ya know, da uzsh.” Lance bobbed his head in a way that he probably thought was casual, but was so completely and entirely a Lance thing that Keith had to laugh.

“Da yuzsh?” He smirked.

Lance ignored Keith’s snicker. “Uh, yeah, dude. The usual? Ya know, what I do all the time-”

“Yeah, Lance. I got that, but you don’t usually come  _ here _ . You study at home to avoid the library, because you said the librarians had it out for you.” Keith tried not to laugh at his best friend again.

“Okay, one, they  _ do _ .” Lance leaned in with a serious look, holding up his index finger. “Not everyone has a ‘soft voice’”—he made finger quotations as he said it—“so, of course, they chide poor little me. And, two, I come here sometimes! Like  _ now _ , for instance.” He sounded a little desperate to defend himself.

Keith wasn’t going to push it.

“Well, I’m glad you’re utilizing your college resources.” He rested his arm across the back of his own seat. “Big project?”

“Ah, uh, not exactly.” Lance leaned back in his chair as he shrugged. “I just wanted to see if they had a book I was interested in.”

Keith perked up at that. He used to be an avid reader before the responsibilities of college became too much. Although, he still tried to read in his free time. Lance should’ve mentioned it to him, maybe he had already read it. He could’ve let Lance borrow it if he owned it. 

“Oh, what book?”

“Some poetry collection a classmate was telling me about.” Lance fiddled with his fingers. “But then I saw you,” he gestured at Keith, “and I assumed you were sleeping, so I put my jacket over your cold, corpse body, because I’m such a good friend.”

Keith gave a humorless laugh. “Corpse body? Really?”

“Well, yeah.” Lance nodded like it was the most obvious thing. “You’re always so cold to the touch and your muscles are crazy hard so it’s like rigor mortis set in.”

“Oh my god.” He rolled his eyes. “You really know how to make a guy feel special.” He teased.

Lance smirked. “I sure do.” His eyes glinted with something suggestive, but Keith just shook his head at his best friend. “If you weren’t sleeping then why were you playing dead? What has you so frustrated?”

Keith groaned. “I’m just, uh, stressed about homework and stuff, I guess.” He shrugged. 

“Wanna relieve some stress?” Lance asked. It sounded dirty, because that’s just how everything was with him. Though his eyes looked serious.

Keith wanted nothing more than to kiss Lance. To be in the arms of his best friend. For his best friend to love him back, but that didn’t really seem like it was going to happen. At least not the kiss for the sake that they were in the library. In  _ public _ .

Keith just shrugged. “I mean, I guess.”—Lance smiled—“But I’m not sure how-”

Lance’s lips were on his. Soft and sweet like flower petals.

_ Fuck. _

He was gentle, but there was an eagerness to the kiss. 

Perhaps that was just Keith.

All of Keith’s worries melted off him with the heat of Lance. There was so much that Keith should’ve been agonizing about, but  _ thinking  _ had no place in that intimate moment with his best friend. Their drunkish kiss had been electrifying, but this one was different, even more potent. Just completely overflowing in…  _ passion _ .

Just being in Lance’s presence made the world around him exciting. 

Kissing him had been  _ more _ . 

Kissing him had been like diving into water. 

The prospect of their first kiss had Keith’s stomach fluttering with butterflies as a nervous excitement overtook him. Like the feeling of standing on a high diving board, anticipation buzzed through his nerves. But this time, Keith hadn’t been expecting anything at all. He was thrown into the water with no preparation.

Which almost made it  _ more  _ thrilling.

Hot and heavy passion filled their veins as they were thrown off the high diving board together. Keith’s stomach was overrun with butterflies as he fell through the metaphorical air. It wasn’t long before they plunged beyond the water’s surface, pressing their lips against each other’s with a wet determination. The world shifted and slowed as the water enveloped them, and a warm sensation danced around in their hearts.

They lingered underwater. Everything around them felt still. Muted. Like reality wasn’t there. Like the only thing in the world was each other. Like the only thing they could feel was the other’s lips kissing their own just as ardently. Their mouths relaxed for tongues to make way for tentative exploration.

The lack of air burned their lungs, yet it was entirely exhilarating.

Lance’s lips were a current that pulled him further under, and Keith was surely drowning for him. Because no, Keith couldn’t be falling for Lance. He had already fallen. Fallen straight into the cold, icy depths of love. He had struggled at first, trying to stay afloat. To keep his feelings under control. But how long could Keith really tread the tantalizing water? 

It was safe to say that he was a sunken sailor pulled into the dangerous depths by a siren’s song. By Lance’s lips.

Yes, drowning had hurt at first, but kissing Lance brought his heart to a steady conclusion. Something this good was worth the pain. The burning ache of his lungs relieved him to a peaceful pang.

Kissing his best friend was awfully dangerous, but Keith was already so far gone… 

A distant noise of a clearing throat sounded, breaking the two friends out of their dive. Reality felt cold with the absence of Lance’s lips. It was one of the few times Keith had longed for warmth. His eyes never left Lance’s as they backed away from each other. Their blush dusted cheeks were obvious to each other as they breathed intensely, lungs finally able to receive the air they ached for.

After a moment, Keith swallowed. “Uh, I-”

“Think we’re getting pretty good at this?” Lance smirked, swiping his thumb across his bottom lip to clear the saliva.

Keith had to ignore the throb of arousal inside him. How was Lance so effortlessly sexy? His cheeks were on fire. With all the blood rushing into his cheeks and… well, away from his brain, Keith could only manage to exhale, “What the fuck, Lance?”

“O-oh.” Lance’s cocky face quickly fell. “I’m sorry. Was that-”

Keith realized how he sounded. “No, i-it’s fine. I just wasn’t expecting it.”

“Was it weird of me?” Lance looked uncharacteristically anxious, concerned. Keith always thought he was the epitome of confidence, but the vulnerable expression he was giving him now reminded Keith of the last time they had kissed; he had a similar look when they talked about Lance’s fear of confessing to his crush.

Keith shook his head as he tried to ignore thoughts of some other guy kissing Lance. 

He let go of a sigh. “It… It was nice. Like, um, almost  _ too  _ good.” Keith fidgeted. “M-maybe we shouldn’t do that anymore.”

Lance’s eyebrows furrowed. “How come? If  _ you _ liked it and  _ I _ liked it, then what’s the problem?”

“W-well…” He wasn’t about to say he felt weird kissing his best friend because he didn’t know he was actually in love with him, so he had to improvise until he would actually confess. “You, uh… you still have that guy you like so it’d be best-”

“Oh my god.” Lance stood up, shaking his head. “You’re such a dumbass, Keith.” He seemed upset.

“U-uh… sorry?” Was all that Keith could muster.

“Let’s just go home.” Lance took his jacket back and pulled it on as he walked away with tense shoulders.

Keith obeyed, quickly gathered up his things, shoving them haphazardly into his backpack, then jogged after Lance. Even though he had rushed off, his best friend was there at the entrance propped against the brick exterior. Lance’s arms were crossed and his face sour, but Keith still felt a warmth flood him upon seeing Lance waiting for him.

His pouting expression just made the act even cuter. Like Lance was upset at Keith, but didn’t want to leave him behind.  _ Could he get more adorable? _ Keith was grateful that whatever he had done to upset Lance didn’t make him mad enough to storm off completely.

They walked to the parking lot in silence.

Lance spoke up when they reached his car. “I’m sorry.” He sighed as he leaned against the driver’s door. “I just… I’ve been a little frustrated I guess. Holding things in, and being too much of a scaredy cat to really do anything about it, so I took it out on you when it wasn’t your fault at all.” His shoulders slumped.

Keith didn’t lift his arms to hug Lance. Instead he just rested his head on his shoulder and leaned into him, pinning him against the car. It was something Lance tended to do when he was sad or just needed comfort. Keith had to be ready to support Lance’s weight at all times. 

It was a burden he was more than willing to bear.

Keith could feel Lance’s low chuckle as he was chest to chest with his best friend. Lance wrapped his arms around Keith, pulling him closer. “Forgive me?” His voice barely above a whisper in Keith’s ear.

Keith melted against Lance’s warmth in the cold autumn air as he nodded. “I just don’t know what I did wrong.”

“Nothing.” Lance sighed, resting his head on top of Keith’s. “You did absolutely nothing.”

Keith enjoyed Lance’s embrace for as long as he thought was acceptable, then pulled away. He was sure his nose was red from the cold, which he hoped helped disguise his new blush. “We should probably get home.”

Lance nodded. “It’s just you and me tonight. Wanna order pizza?” He grinned.

Keith gave a mock gasp. “In Hunk’s holy home? You want to defile his place with non-gourmet, non-homemade pieces of grease that he will certainly ostracize us for?” A smile slid onto his face at Lance’s amused features. “Fuck yeah.”

Lance whooped with triumph. “That’s what I’m talkin’ about! Hurry and get your bony ass home! I’ll order on the way.” He gave a lopsided grin then ducked into his car as Keith walked backward, staring at him.

“Fuck you, dude. My ass isn’t bony!” He yelled as Lance backed up his car.

Lance rolled down the window, “I’ll let you prove it to me when we get home.” He winked then sped off before Keith could even blink.

He swallowed slowly as he watched Lance’s car drive away. What did  _ that _ even mean? He wasn’t sure, but he was ready to find out. Although, if he knew Lance—which he did—it was just some offhanded, shallow attempt at a joke. There was no meaning behind Lance’s flirty comments when it came to Keith. His hopeful heart had learned the cruel reality of that the hard way.

But it wasn’t the time to wallow in self-pity and sadness about his unrequited love. He knew Lance would assume he’d get home first because he left first, but Keith felt that it’d be pretty satisfying to see Lance walk in and squawk, because he would already be there, bony ass and all, lying on the couch. So with that thought, he raced to his own car and hopped in. 

Lance was predictable. He would take the same path home that he always did, because it was “an integral part” of his daily routine. Keith had tried convincing him that it was a slower route, but his best friend just stuck to his tradition. Keith was actually grateful that Lance didn’t listen to him for once.

He didn’t really understand why he had such a strong urge to beat Lance home. It was just a dumb joke, but he drove down the empty streets like a man on a mission. Why did the prospect of winning against Lance excite him and ignite his blood so much? Sure, they used to be a lot more competitive with each other when they were in high school, and sure, maybe he missed that, but it was just a dumb race that Lance didn’t even know he was participating in.

Even so, Keith couldn’t help his wide grin as he raced the streets. He could feel his blood pumping harder. He could feel the release of adrenaline as he raced. He could feel the weight of his anxieties lifting as he solely concentrated on his driving. It was exhilarating.

He laughed to himself as he turned down an alley and cut through backroads. He knew he was going to win. He had to. Lance didn’t even know they were racing, and honestly, he could really use a win. Even if it was for something as stupid as racing his best friend to their apartment.

He felt the need to accomplish something in his life. He was doing alright in school, but he could be doing better. He had a decent social life thanks to Lance, but he had been avoiding him lately, so that had depressed the shit out of him. Not to mention how touchy and flirty Lance was constantly being with him. Maybe Lance had always been that way and Keith didn’t notice until his feelings were ones of love, but it felt pretty damn different than how they were in high school. Or maybe Lance felt more free to express his feelings when he wasn’t living under his parents’ roof. College was a pretty open place. Either way, Keith felt like his heart couldn’t take much more of his best friend’s unintentional cruelty. Maybe confessing to him will make Lance ease up.

Keith just wanted to win something. He needed to feel the temporary euphoria of triumph before he would eventually ruin everything with his confession. He yearned for something to take away the heavy burden of one-sided love, even for a moment. Even if it was only a brief distraction from it.

It  _ worked _ .

His chest felt light with his careless speed. His lungs felt unobstructed and free to breathe with ease at every turn. His heart was wonderfully ecstatic with every passing second. Should he just start drag racing? Probably not. He’d enjoy it far too much.

He slowed his beat-up, burgundy car as he neared the apartment building. He swiftly parked and unbuckled his seatbelt before gathering his things. He was surprised to see Lance’s blue Toyota parking a couple spots away as he opened his driver side door. 

_ So, someone decided to race as well? _

Keith caught Lance’s shocked expression through his passenger window. He quickly locked his car and threw a mischievous smirk Lance’s way before racing toward the parking lot’s exiting path. He heard a faint curse and slamming of a car door behind him as he ran along the concrete sidewalk.

The sun was far below the horizon, only a tinge of color from the earlier sunset had lingered. Both bright and muted stars dotted the dark backdrop of the night. Keith could see his breath in the cold air as he ran, but the luminous moon hanging in the dark sky really caught his attention. It was in the waning gibbous phase. Lance’s favorite phase. 

How Keith knew  _ that  _ could only be answered with his years of Lance’s friendship and his own thoughtful listening.

Keith shook his distracting thoughts away and picked up his pace as he heard bounding footsteps behind him. He threw a look over his shoulder to see Lance with an adorable smirk and scrunched up nose running after him. He laughed at his best friend while internally cursing and praising those long legs of his.

God, he was hot.

He nearly dropped his keys as he unlocked the apartment complex’s entrance. He managed to get the door closed behind him before Lance could use the unlocked door to his advantage. Keith, like the adult he was, stuck his tongue out playfully as Lance was trapped outside and left to hastily find his key. Lance groaned as he narrowed his eyes at Keith, but as Keith laughed he noticed a smile growing on his best friend’s face. 

It, regretfully, made his heart flutter.

Keith realized his mistake of lingering to watch Lance’s reaction a little too late. He heard the unmistakable click of the glass door beginning to unlock right before he booked it up the stairs. He had to be quick, since Lance could skip three stairs at a time with his long legs.

He was nearing the second flight when he heard a low growl coming from his best friend. “Keeeeiiith!”

He tried to push away the arousal igniting inside him. He was looking for a distraction from his feelings, not a newfound kink. Being turned on from getting chased was odd to think about, but luckily he didn’t have time to think about it. He only  _ felt _ it, and damn was it fucking thrilling.

Keith could feel his heart racing as his lungs burned in his chest. His skin buzzed with potential and his palms started sweating at his dirty imagination. His head was getting foggy with the thoughts of Lance catching him. Kissing him. Touching him… 

_ Fuck, focus. _

There was a slight strain in Keith’s pants as he skipped up the stairs. He hoped it wouldn’t be noticeable, but he quickly pushed the problem to the back of his mind as he heard Lance’s footfalls getting closer.

Unfortunately, their apartment was on the third floor of an old, elevator-perpetually-broken facility. 

Fortunately, Keith worked out.

Lance was slowly catching up, because of his long legs, but he was getting winded. He had decent stamina, but sprinting up three stories took a lot out of a lanky, nutrition-lacking college kid. Keith felt himself smile as he used the railing to propel himself upward faster. He knew Lance was falling behind, and just the idea of winning—and being chased—had his legs feeling lighter.

Keith sped down the third floor’s hall with Lance not too far behind.

He barely had time to slow down as he rounded a corner. It wasn’t too long before Lance was on his heels. Keith’s lungs and legs were already on fire, but he needed this so he pushed himself harder. He saw Lance’s tan hand reaching out for their door at the same time Keith’s arm did.

It was, honestly, really dumb of them to think running full force at a locked door was a good idea, but somehow, it didn’t end too horribly. Quite the opposite actually. While there was the initial painful hit of bodies colliding, the bit after wasn’t nearly as unenjoyable. Keith had both hands on the door as he was pressed flush against it with Lance’s chest on his back. His best friend’s arms were on either side of him, also pressed against the door. It seemed as though Lance had caught him. Keith cursed himself for feeling so aroused when he should’ve been celebrating his win.

Because he  _ had _ touched the door a split second before Lance. And as much as he convinced himself that that was what he needed, he obviously didn’t know it would feel so inferior to the warmth emanating from Lance’s heaving chest on his back. 

Because  _ fuck _ . 

Keith just breathed heavily against Lance, waiting for his best friend to move away or laugh or do  _ something _ .

But they just stood there, pressed flush against each other, panting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, hear me out. I-I just…I honestly had no intention of making Keith feel turned on from Lance chasing him. It just happened??  
> 


	9. Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more chapter after this. It's been wonderful. Thank you, thank you, thank you for everything you do, whether it's just reading or leaving a commenting or kudos. All is so very much appreciated <3

It felt like hours had passed when Keith felt his breath somewhat return to normal. He swallowed as his lungs stopped screaming at him. It was entirely relieving, yet still dully painful. He felt Lance lean away slightly, allowing enough room for him to move, though his best friend’s arms were still glued to either side of him on the door.

Keith managed to turn around, resting his back against their apartment door as he looked into Lance’s excited eyes.

Were they always that dark?

Keith’s forehead was slick with sweat, but he couldn’t bring himself to care as he parted his lips to speak. Yet… he hadn’t gotten the chance to voice his thoughts, because Lance’s lips were on his for the second time that day.

They were desperate and needy and…

_ Fuck.  _

Somewhere in his brain he was confused as hell, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to care in the moment. Because all he could feel was Lance. His best friend’s soft lips eagerly worked against his, diligently moving their mouths together. Keith matched Lance’s passion and hunger without a second thought.

It was intoxicating.

Lance’s smell enveloped Keith’s senses. Sweat and ocean body spray and the deodorant he had used since high school.

Keith felt himself drowning deeper.

It wasn’t too long before Lance was opening the kiss to make room for their tongues. Keith oddly felt like he was filling  _ Lance’s _ craving. Like his best friend was the one who was yearning for Keith’s affection, not the other way around. Not that he minded. He was excited that Lance seemed so into it.

He would’ve been beating himself up for even enjoying it if he had the brain capacity to do so. His anxieties were squashed with the feeling of his best friend’s lips pressed against his. How could he think of anything else? Lance was kissing him like he was a man dying of thirst and Keith’s mouth held the only trace of water for miles. It was instinctual and needy. Animalistic and expressive.

It was going to be the death of him.

Lance’s noises filled his ears. He was breathy at first, but then came his moans. And, god, that wasn’t something Keith thought he’d ever be lucky enough to experience. Even as he heard Lance’s deep, primal sounds he didn’t dare let out his own. He was convinced that if Lance heard him, then he’d probably think Keith was too into the kiss, or he was weird, or his sounds were odd. Okay, so not all of his anxieties disappeared just from kissing Lance.

He felt his stomach lurch and heart jump as the solid door supporting his weight started opening. For a second, he thought Hunk had heard them and unlocked it, but then he remembered their tall friend was on his date with Shay. He was grateful for the absence of their third roommate, because there was no good explanation for what they were doing.

But if it wasn’t Hunk, then that meant Lance had somehow managed to unlock the door as they kissed. How did Keith miss that? Well, Lance’s lips  _ were _ distracting. So, like with most things while kissing Lance, he didn’t put much thought into it.

Lance’s hands slid along Keith’s sides then snuck around to his back, supporting him. Fire blossomed across Keith’s skin. The way Lance touched him was nearly inexplicable. It was intense. His hands were gentle, showing the care he harbored for Keith, but also strong…  _ hungry _ . Lance’s hands pulled him closer, flush against his own body, and Keith revelled in the pressure.

Lance walked him backwards into their apartment, lips still moving hungrily. Keith eagerly obeyed Lance’s guiding hands. There was no spoken direction, only the slight increased pressure of his best friend’s hands at his back. He felt Lance shut the door with his foot as they blindly traversed the small foyer.

His best friend’s multitasking was somehow entirely sexy.

Keith was impressed by the strong, sensual hands embracing his back. By Lance’s ability to kiss someone so passionately when they were only friends. And, while it wasn’t surprising to him anymore, he was impressed with Lance’s pleasing mouth and talented tongue.

Keith felt himself losing the war of suppressing his moans. It became increasingly hard when Lance started kissing him deep and open-mouthed, becoming erotically languid. Like his best friend was trying to experience every bit of his mouth that he could, and drink up the sensation with attentive care. It was only a matter of time before a moan slipped out-

“Mmmhhnn.”

There it was.

It was embarrassingly needy, but had been impossible to hold back. The sound vibrated from deep within his chest, rolling up and out of his mouth to collide against Lance’s lips. His best friend didn’t seem to mind the noise. It just encouraged him further. Lance smiled against the kiss as he pulled Keith closer at the sound, moving his lips with fervor once again.

Keith felt like that reaction probably meant it was unnecessary to hold his moans back.

They aimlessly moved further into the small apartment, kicking off their shoes as gracefully as they could while making out. Which was to say, not very. Keith would’ve fallen over his own two feet if it hadn’t been for Lance’s tight grasp on him. Muffled laughter vibrated against each other's lips.

God, it felt good.

Almost too good.

An odd feeling worked its way through Keith. It pushed and prodded him, throbbing at the back of his mind. It was insistent in gaining his attention. The thought broke through Keith’s blissfully distracted brain… Wasn’t there some reason Keith shouldn’t be kissing Lance? Though, he couldn’t quite concentrate on the thought, even as it nagged at him furiously. Lance was too much of a prominent feature of Keith’s consciousness.

His senses were being overtaken with everything that was Lance. The sounds of his low moans and eager pants vibrated in his ears. Keith breathed in the intoxicating mix of cologne and a smell that was just very much  _ him _ . And kissing him. God. There was something otherworldly about tasting Lance. It made him lightheaded and grounded him at the same time.

Then there was the feeling of his best friend’s hands pulling him close and guiding him along the wooden flooring. Lance backed him up against a wall near their rooms. The pressure was exhilarating. He was completely caught in Lance’s grasp and it felt  _ so  _ good. Something that felt that good couldn’t be wrong, right?

No. No, something was definitely wrong. Something felt out of place.

Was it wrong to be enjoying his best friend? Keith had thought so. At first. But being pinned by an eager Lance made his anxieties lessen. He was able to tell Lance was enjoying it just as much as him. That wasn’t the problem, so what was? Was it because it was all fake? That it was just two friends filling each other’s needs regardless of feelings. Is that what made it feel so… weird? 

No. Not quite. Because there was almost  _ too much _ feeling in it. 

Maybe what felt odd was not the lack of passion, but the sheer amount of it.

A warmth seized Keith’s heart. Was he dumb for being hopeful? Or dumb for thinking what they shared was ever just a platontic thing? It certainly didn’t feel like a platonic thing. It never had. Ever since the first kiss Keith felt something there. But it was hard to determine whether or not he was just imagining Lance’s desire. Their previous kisses hadn’t lasted very long.

But now.

Now Keith could  _ feel  _ Lance’s longing.

Sure, it could’ve been purely lustful, but the way Lance held him told a different story. His hands were eager, but held him like they were holding something extremely  _ precious _ . His lips were sweet and wondrous. Explorative, but full of deep affection. It wasn’t exactly a science, but it was something that Keith couldn’t easily ignore. It was like Lance was conveying his affection with every movement.

He didn’t have to say anything to tell Keith how he felt. It was in the wordless conversation being made between their lips. It was in the gentle, eager pressure of Lance against him. It was so many things in that moment that it had Keith reeling. He wasn’t sure if he was actually awake anymore. Was the Lance pressing him against their apartment wall real? Was the swipe of their tongues and desperation of their mouths truly a part of reality? Or was all of it a dream? Was Keith still back in the college library? Maybe he had actually fallen asleep, because surely this couldn’t-

“Keith,” Lance had broken away before Keith could even register it.

His longing lips nearly chased Lance’s as his eyes remained closed, but the low, sultry voice of his best friend had roused him from his trance, prompting his eyes to open. He was caught in Lance’s salacious gaze. His lids were low over his ocean eyes as he looked into Keith’s through his long lashes. Beautiful bruised lips were parted with a promise of words to come and flushed cheeks were evidence of their passionate work.

Keith could feel his own warmth emanating from his cheeks, but he made no effort to hide his blush. He couldn’t even move, Lance’s stare locked him in place. His tan hands still clung to Keith’s waist and held him against the wall, grounding him. But without the distraction of kissing his best friend, Keith felt the embarrassment coming on.

At least Lance’s voice had confirmed that he wasn’t dreaming. That it was real. Which was almost just as unbelievable.

Coming down from the high that Lance had provided, Keith felt self-conscious more than ever. He was beginning to doubt the feelings he had previously thought Lance had. Only words would be able to convince him, because without Lance actually saying it, it couldn’t be true. Keith couldn’t just assume something so boldly. He felt foolish for even thinking so.

His own confession stuck in the back of his throat.

Keith swallowed as he looked into Lance’s eyes, flecks of gray dotted along the center and collected around the iris, bordering the deep blue. It was an ocean in itself, storming with emotion and swirling with affection. It was hard to concentrate on what Lance was saying. Had he even been talking?

“I,” Lance took a breath.

No, he didn’t think he missed anything. He wouldn’t forget hearing the wonderful husky tone of his best friend’s voice, rough with their recent kissing. And oh how Keith revelled in the sound.  _ He _ had made Lance sound that gruff. That low. What a power to behold.

Keith waited with bated breath for Lance’s words.

His freckled faced friend looked slightly nervous, but incredibly assured in his intoxicated demeanor. It was a serious, although affectionate, expression that held a certain confidence to it. The kind of confidence that had to be faked at first in order to actually feel.

But Keith didn’t dwell on that.

He was much more interested in what his best friend had to say that had him looking like that. He just stayed quiet and looked up at him with soft encouragement, keeping his own eyes pinned on Lance’s beautiful blues.

Lance smiled and took another breath, then opened his mouth.

“I l- - - - - -.”

“W-what?” Keith blinked.

Lance had surely said something, but the sound of their doorbell drowned it out.

His best friend looked a little upset at the interruption.

Keith couldn’t help feeling cheated by the shrill noise as well. 

Lance closed his eyes with a deep sigh, then opened them to smile—although, a little sadly—at Keith. “Probably the pizza. I’ll go get it.”

Keith’s heart sped up. Nothing particularly exciting had happened in that moment, but his biology reacted all the same. His heart pounded as he watched Lance turn around and-

“Wait,” Keith’s hand was clenched onto the hem of Lance’s jacket.

Lance looked back with soft confusion. It was a curious, anticipatory look. 

One that made Keith even more nervous.

He took a breath and felt his insides churning. He pushed through it, opening his mouth. Preparing himself for his practiced words. It was time to confess. To tell Lance the truth. He was ready… but his mouth was not. When he tried speaking nothing came out. Barely even a breath. 

Keith’s heart had already been beating at a rapid pace, pumping anxiety through his veins, but with his vocal chords protesting he felt it speed up even more. What was wrong with him? He had the words. He had… he… he couldn’t remember what he had planned. The words he drilled over and over in his head to tell his best friend that he loved him were lost.

“Fuck.” Keith breathed.

Lance quirked his head at the word. “Fuck?”

Keith felt his chest squeeze with the overflowing emotion inside him. His words were lost on him and all he had were the unprepared, slopped together sentences coming out of his mouth without his own permission. “Yes, fuck.” Keith’s eyebrows were upturned with disappointment in himself. He looked down at his hands, looking at them like they belonged to an absolute dumbass. “Fuck, I-I can’t… I can’t remember any of it.” He let go of a disbelieving breath. “God, I’m such an  _ idiot _ .” Keith’s gaze burned into his own hands.

What was wrong with him? How could he just blank on such an important thing? He was finally going to do it and his brain just stopped working. What was he going to do? What the  _ hell  _ was he going to do?

_ Fuck. _

Something gripped Keith’s chest, halting his breaths. It was the turbulent emotion unfurling inside him. He could feel Lance standing in front of him, but the rest of his reality was lost on him. He could only feel the potency of disappointment and frustration in himself. 

He felt his eyes sting with the promise of furious tears. He clenched his abs and held his breath to constrict his urge to sob. His tears were determined to form and fall, but Keith begged them not to. He really didn’t want to cry in front of Lance. Not when he had more important things to do. But the rampant emotion inside him was tenacious in its upheaval. All Keith could do was try to blink the liquid feelings away, hoping Lance couldn’t see with his head bowed down.

“Hey, you’re not an idiot.” Lance grabbed the hands Keith had been glaring at.

As much as Lance’s touch eased Keith’s pain, it also reminded him of who he was failing.

Two tears fell onto their joint hands, one slightly after the other.

“Keith?” He could hear the serious worry in Lance’s voice.

It was almost funny to him, hearing the extreme care Lance had for him. His best friend was concerned about him when he didn’t really know what Keith had been keeping from him. Would he even care about him after Keith told him? He let go of a self-deprecating laugh that was more of a convulsive breath than anything. Words were unable to escape him as his nose stung from trying to hold the rest of his tears back. 

He was unsuccessful as those first two droplets made headway for more.

Keith sniffled as the teardrops started falling.

“Keith?” Lance let go of his hands to take hold of his face, gently bringing it up for him to see. “W-what’s going on? Why are you crying?!” He used his thumbs to wipe the tears falling down Keith’s cheeks.

Keith looked up at Lance as more tears fell. “I-” He nearly choked on the word. All he could do was sniffle as his lower lip quivered. He didn’t want to be crying in front of his best friend. He just wanted to regain control of himself. He wanted to remember his words and use them. He just wanted to tell Lance how he felt.

He had to push through the thoughts of losing him. He had to ignore his anxieties telling him that his confession would just distance them. Hell, he was already distancing them by  _ not  _ telling Lance.

“Keith. Breathe.”—Keith snapped out of his thoughts and felt his lungs burning. He listened to his best friend, inhaling some much needed air—“Just in and out. That’s right.” Lance encouraged him.

Lance really was Keith’s best friend. He always understood without really having to understand. Which made no sense, but at the same time, it entirely made sense. It was just how they were.

The movement Lance was making with his thumbs was soothing Keith. His eyebrows started to relax as his breathing became more even. A few tears still streamed down his face, but Lance was there to catch them.

“What has you so upset that you’re crying?” Lance frowned. “You never cry.”

Keith looked straight into Lance’s eyes with a tired sadness, continuing to breathe with purpose. Lance’s eyes held their own sadness in them, but there was mostly concern. His beautiful eyebrows were furrowed for Keith. Keith felt his heart pang with warmth at Lance’s adorable face. He couldn’t help the fondness exuding from him. He loved his best friend entirely too much.

That’s right.

Lance was his  _ best friend _ . He would  _ understand _ . Even if Keith didn’t have the right words. Even if he didn’t prepare a coherent speech. Even if Lance didn’t feel the same way he would still understand. _ Fuck. _ He really hadn’t been giving Lance enough credit.

Keith could feel the edges of his mouth quiver into a small smile.

“W-what?” Lance’s cheeks were still beautifully flushed from earlier. 

Lance’s caressing hands had calmed Keith enough for him to speak, but he took a moment to take a deep breath. His eyes were half-lidded with how tiring crying was, but also because he was ready. He could feel the adoration in his own gaze, and he was sure Lance saw it with how his best friend’s expression softened.

He was going to tell him how he felt. 

Prepared words be damned.

Keith gently took Lance’s hands off his face and held them. His heart hammered impossibly hard in his chest, but he spoke anyway. “I-I’m absolutely terrified…” Keith smiled for a moment despite his words. He glanced away, shaking his head. “But I have to tell you. Even though I don’t remember what I had planned.” He almost laughed as he shrugged, then looked back at his best friend. “You deserve to know.”

“Keith…” Lance nearly whispered. He looked like he wanted to say something, but didn’t want to interrupt. He bit back his own words and waited with a tender attentiveness.

“Lance… you’re my best friend.” Keith started, trying not to cry again. There was so much he was feeling, it was hard to not be emotional. It was a big thing to confess to a best friend. To someone so much  _ more _ than that. Lance was the guy who gave him things that he never knew he needed until he had them: friends, silly keepsakes, love. He was going to confess to a person he was deathly afraid of losing. It would be no easy feat. Keith took a breath. “You mean so much to me, and I-I never wanted to lie to you.” He swallowed, preparing himself as he glanced away. Lance was still staring at him, nearly holding his breath. “But I haven’t been exactly honest with you. I just hope you won’t…. I hope you won’t hate me-”

“I could  _ never  _ hate you.” Lance sniffled a little, surprising Keith.

“Wait, Lance, are you  _ crying _ ?” Keith looked back at him, concerned.

“I’m not!” Lance pouted, but Keith could see his watery eyes.

“You are too!” Keith squeezed his hands and pulled him closer. “Why are  _ you _ crying?”

Lance sniffled and turned his head away from Keith’s prying eyes. “You don’t have sole rights to crying!”

Keith nearly laughed. “Lance.” He smiled at his adorable best friend, trying to get him to turn around. “Lance.” He repeated. “I’m sorry I made you cry. I-I’m not sure what I did.” He would’ve scratched the back of his head anxiously had he not been holding Lance’s hands.

Lance turned back to Keith. “It’s not what you did, but what you’re  _ going  _ to do.”

Keith’s grip on Lance’s hands loosened instinctually as he took a half step back. Did Lance know that he was going to confess? Was he  _ that _ upset about it? Or maybe he didn’t know. But if he did, at least he said he didn’t hate him. But he could still very much be disgusted. And- Keith decided to stop making assumptions and just listen.

Lance sniffled a couple times, then continued. “This is my worst nightmare.”—Keith’s heart froze—“You’re leaving me, aren’t you? You got into that fancy flight school and I’m never going to see you again. Is that why you’ve been so distant lately?”

His heart lightened as he heard Lance’s worry.

“Lance.” The tension in Keith’s muscles relaxed from his relief.

“Did you just want to make the transition of never seeing each other again easier by avoiding me for months? Well, joke’s on you, because I’ll miss you like hell either way, you fucking dick!” Lance grimaced as he took his hands back to cross his arms.

Keith let himself huff a laugh. “You dork. I’m not going anywhere. Why would you think that?”

“What? Really?” Lance perked up.

“Yes, really.” Keith unfolded Lance’s arms. “Why would you think that, huh?”

Lance sniffled and wiped away some snot with the back of his hand. “Well, you’re always talking about the Garrison-”

“I wouldn’t say ‘always.’” Keith interjected.

Lance continued without dropping a beat. “-and how it’s your dream and… I don’t know, okay? It was just the first thing that popped into my head when you said I’d hate you, which I could  _ never _ , but it got me thinking, what the hell could you do that would make you think that I could hate you? I would never hate you for it, but I’d be sad as hell if you left and then I was like why would he even leave, so I remembered the Garrison and-”

“Okay, I think I understand now.” Keith stopped him before he kept going for another ten minutes. He felt relieved that he wasn’t the one crying anymore. And that Lance wasn’t actually upset because he somehow knew Keith was going to confess. And that he was able to feel light with Lance again. He had felt so impossibly paralyzed before, but Keith knew he could tell his best friend anything. That maybe a confession wouldn’t be the end of the world. He had been prepared to do it, but now he felt eager to tell Lance the truth. “I’m not leaving you.” Keith smiled at him. How could he ever leave his best friend?

Lance relaxed as he let out a relieved sigh. “Good.” He smiled, looking at Keith tenderly. Somehow, that one word held so much warmth.

Keith shook his head as he returned the favor, wiping away Lance’s straying tear streaks. His best friend was impossibly cute.

Lance’s blue eyes sparkled with an enticing glint. It was a familiar look. One that had Keith wanting to kiss his best friend, but he held himself back. Even though Lance looked so open to the idea and his lips especially welcoming, Keith couldn’t initiate such an act before confessing.

It was fortunate that Lance seemed keen on doing that himself.

His best friend leaned forward to place a soft kiss on Keith’s unsuspecting, but willing lips. It wasn’t one without feeling, that much Keith could tell even though the kiss was brief. Brief, but yearning. It felt as though Lance hesitated in his retreat. Like he’d enjoy lingering on Keith’s lips just a little longer. To savor the feeling. Keith couldn’t help, but comply.

Though, reality had to be tended to eventually. And Keith would never be able to feel completely satisfied until he was able to tell Lance the truth. Until his feelings were out in the open and off his chest. At least then Lance would know and could act accordingly.

“H-hey…” Keith pulled away from Lance gently.

“Keith, I…” Lance sighed. “Is your hesitance just because of the  _ guy _ ?”

Keith shook his head. “Lance, that’s not-”

“Because I’ll tell you. Fuck it,” he gave a laugh. “I-I’ll tell you my guy if you tell me yours.”

Keith’s heart jumped in his chest. “W-what?” Keith breathed.

He was taken back a bit. He hadn’t expected Lance to offer that. 

And he couldn’t say he wasn’t curious…

A nervous tickle flitted around Keith’s heart. Was that hope? If it were, Keith would have to be very careful, controlled.

Hope was a dangerous thing.

He didn’t want to react irreverent toward his best friend. He was still upset at himself for being an asshole when Lance first brought it up.

But was he really going to confess to Lance as a part of some grade school deal? He supposed he could still say the things that came to his heart. That it didn’t really matter too much on how he did it, just that he  _ did _ . 

So he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really have certain ways I like confessions to go, but Keith was like “but I have anxiety and sometimes I’m just not ready the first try” and so I was like okay, valid. And, yes, I wanted to write a beautiful fairy tale confession scene that came out exactly at the right time, but Klance is so human and for me to preface this scene with everything going on inside Keith and not make it so entirely them felt wrong. It just didn’t make sense to me. Sorry if you didn’t like how it’s coming along. But I'm actually enjoying it, so thank you for reading :)


	10. Love Like A Best Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can’t forget about the pizza :) I had the delivery guy scene written before posting chapter nine, so it’s nice that people didn’t forget about him hahhaha I see you guys ;D  
> Also, if you finish this and still want more, I’m going to write a fluff and smut oneshot for these boys <3

_ I’ll tell you my guy if you tell me yours. _

Lance’s face was serious. He had meant it.

Keith would mean it too, when he’d agree to the arrangement. Though, he’d have to be cautious with his heart and even more wary with how he’d let himself react. It wouldn’t be easy hearing Lance disclose the name of his…  _ guy _ . Of someone who he was in  _ love  _ with. 

Maybe Lance wouldn’t even want to say it after Keith’s confession.

Keith was okay with that.

He couldn’t exactly believe he was actually going to agree to it. The first time Lance brought something like that up to Keith he straight out didn’t even consider it. He barely gave it a thought. It was so ridiculous to him, but now…

Now he mentally prepared himself before even opening his mouth to agree to his best friend’s terms. He would be respectful and behave as any best friend would. They were making a deal, and although there was no promise of being excited for one another, there didn’t have to be. It was already a fundamental part of being a best friend. Something so innately second nature to true best friends that it didn’t have to be specified. Though, in the present situation, it had to be granted a more conscious effort for those who were in love with their best friend (i.e. Keith). Heartbreak wasn’t an easy burden to hold behind a smile.

With his wits finally about him, Keith responded. “Uh, y-yeah, sure.” He nodded, hyper aware of everything. Of how he was standing. Of how he was breathing. Of how his hands were starting to sweat, not to mention how he was holding them. He was really doing this. Lance was really going to tell him. They were about to share the biggest secret they’d ever kept from each other. And Keith had to go first. “I, uh…”

_ Dingaling. _

Keith trailed off, suddenly becoming painfully aware of something odd.

What  _ was _ that?

A noise? A high pitched ring?

Lance’s eyes widened as he saw Keith tilt his head in confusion, realizing the same thing. 

“Oh my god,” Lance breathed. “The pizza!”

_ Oh. _

The annoying noise was the doorbell going off.

How long had it been doing that?

“Oh, shit.” Keith rushed to the front door with Lance.

They passed their kicked off shoes as they quickly entered the foyer. Nearly colliding into each other as they slid to a stop on the slick hardwood floor. Keith’s chest only slightly bumped into Lance’s back as they crowded the apartment door together. Lance glanced over his shoulder to throw Keith an irresistible lopsided grin before turning the doorknob.

He opened the door to reveal a startled delivery man holding their pizza. The young guy cleared his throat. “Uh, hi.” He took an awkward step back, almost like he had been leaning in closely to the door before.

“Hi.” Lance smiled apologetically. “Sorry, dude.”

The delivery man shook his head and held up his free hand. “No problem, man. I wasn’t even out here that long.”

Lance glanced back at Keith, catching his guilty expression. Lance turned back to face the delivery guy as he reached out behind him, out of sight of the pizza guy, and held Keith’s hand. He squeezed it gently.

Keith felt his embarrassment and guilt receding a bit.

He hadn’t meant to inconvenience the delivery guy. He honestly forgot about the doorbell even ringing. He couldn’t believe they both had tuned it out the whole time. If it had even been going off for that long. It had been insanely loud the first time, so it didn’t seem possible that it would’ve been ringing for long without them noticing. But if it had, he guessed the situation was just so much more important than little sounds.

_ Lance  _ was so much more important than a lot of things, Keith knew that for sure.

Lance quickly paid the guy, refusing to take any of Keith’s money, much to his fond annoyance. But Lance’s hand was still gently intertwined with his, keeping him right there with him. So he wasn’t entirely able to argue with Lance when the soft wisps of warmth tingled intensely around his heart, turning Keith into absolute gush for his best friend.

It was such a mundane thing, answering the door together, but it made him feel so  _ giddy _ . Retrieving pizza was a one-man job, but they somehow made it something to do together. Lance refused his money, but made Keith hold the pizza until he was done apologizing to the delivery man. Unfortunately, letting go of his hand in the process. Though, Lance quickly took it back, as well as the pizza, after the door was closed.

Lance had always been really talented in including Keith with anything and everything. It didn’t matter if the task was something usually done alone, or even  _ easier _ individually. Lance had always been there to ask if Keith wanted to join him. It was nice, doing things together just for the sake of them being together. Maybe that was because they were best friends. And even though Keith’s heart couldn’t help but yearn for more, that didn’t mean it wasn’t a wonderful thing. It always brought him the sort of happiness that he could only describe as intensely satisfying. Fulfilling.

Lance gently swung their intertwined hands with a soft expression. “You okay?”

Keith gave him a small smile. “Yeah. I-I just feel bad that I forgot about him.” He shrugged, glancing down at his preoccupied hand.

“Hey, that’s on me, too.” Lance squeezed his hand. “He said it was fine. I’m sure we didn’t even forget about him that long.”

“I hope not.” Keith started biting the inside of his lip habitually.

He felt his brain start to cloud with useless worries. That maybe his emotions really were a waste of  _ everyone’s  _ time. Or perhaps he’d only bother people by letting his feelings out. Or even-

A tan thumb quickly dragged down Keith’s bottom lip, successfully freeing it from his abusive chew.

Keith looked up to see Lance giving him a lopsided grin. “Living room?” He motioned with the hand he had been using to hold Keith’s. The hand that disrupted Keith’s unhelpful thoughts.

He just nodded, feeling a relief spread through him. He took a breath as they walked. His feelings weren’t unwarranted. They weren’t there just to bother others. Lance  _ asked  _ him about it. About some specific feelings pertaining to the guy he loved, but still. Lance  _ wanted  _ to know. Lance was his best friend, and he didn’t think Keith wasn’t worthy of his time.

They were together for the sake of being together.

That in itself said a lot about their bond.

“I just can’t believe we didn’t hear him.” Keith attempted a more casual tone as he sat down on the couch, half facing the cushions next to him where Lance would undoubtedly sit.

“We were having a serious conversation.” Lance gave him a reassuring look. “And you were crying! Then I was crying. But honestly! How is anybody supposed to concentrate on anything else when you’re crying?!” Lance declared, expressing his care as he set down the pizza on the coffee table. “Wait,” Lance sat down next to Keith with furrowed brows. “Why  _ were  _ you crying?”

Keith inhaled as he bit the inside of his lower lip once again. “Well, uh, I was just feeling a-a bit frustrated with myself I guess.” He worked through the sentence rather slowly, unsure of how to even explain the overwhelming sensation. The intense anxiety and disappointment he had felt within him. “I had something important I wanted to tell you-”

“Oh!” Lance’s eyes widened with recognition, turning his body to face Keith completely. “That’s right! Then, I interrupted you, because I assumed you were leaving me—which you aren’t, which is great—But you can tell me now! Wait, we can’t forget to honor our deal. After you say what you need to, of course.” Lance was fondly adamant on that front while also wanting to listen to what Keith had to say.

Keith nearly laughed at his best friend being so entirely himself. His fondness for Lance was neverending. A small smile slipped onto his face, but he quickly minded himself. 

He swallowed, glancing down at his hands. At his abused cuticles and healing lesions. He resisted the urge to mess with them by returning his gaze to Lance’s blue eyes once again. He took a breath. “W-well, what I was going to tell you… that, uh, had me  _ crying _ ,” his voice cracked on the word. He cleared his throat. “I guess, kinda ties into… o-our deal.”

“O-oh…” Lance shifted, sitting slightly more rigid as he faced Keith. No longer letting the back of the couch take the brunt of his weight.

Keith nodded gently. “I-I wanted to tell you who I… who my  _ guy _ is, but I forgot the words…” He took in a staggered breath as he balled his right hand, feeling his nails bite into his palm. His heart panged bitterly at his own incompetence. But he had come to an agreement with himself. That he didn’t need prepared words to confess. That the only thing that truly mattered was that he  _ did it _ .

Lance’s hand softly landed on his, and Keith looked back up at his best friend. Lance ran his fingers across Keith’s fist before giving it a gentle squeeze. He didn’t have to say anything to get his point across. Keith could see the compassionate protectiveness in his best friend’s ocean eyes. A protectiveness that not even Keith himself was excluded from. He relented, relaxing his hand with a sigh and letting Lance take it properly.

“I panicked a little.” Keith continued, delicately gesturing with his free hand. “Because I thought I  _ needed _ the words. The words I had so meticulously planned out and relied on… So, when, uh, the solid ground I had built for myself caved, I felt like I was free falling… a-and I didn’t know how to deal, s-so, I guess that’s why I cried.” He sighed. “I really didn’t mean to. I’m-”

“Don’t you dare apologize to me, Keith Kogane.” Lance whispered, already knowing what his best friend was about to spout. “You’re allowed to cry.” His voice had been soft, but his supportive words were just as serious as his face.

“Yeah… you’re right.” Keith nodded, giving himself a moment after to bite his tongue in order to regain control of himself. “Uh, so, regarding my  _ guy _ , which should really just be described as the guy I’m in love with and  _ have  _ been in love with for a long time, because that’s really more accurate, is, uh, someone very special to me. I-I’ve been debating telling you for a long time, but we’re best friends a-and you deserve to know.” He bit the inside of his cheek as he saw Lance’s earnest curiosity mixing with a cautious preparedness of sorts. Keith almost huffed a laugh. His best friend’s face nearly matched his own feelings about Lance confessing.

Lance sat there looking back at Keith, waiting for him to continue.

“Just remember, please don’t…  _ dislike  _ me, because of it.” He avoided the word  _ hate _ . “O-or do! That’s up to you I guess. I just… I don’t want to lose you. You’re my best friend in the whole world and I couldn’t bear it if I ruined this.” Keith glanced back down at his hands. “But I have to tell you, and you’ll respond in the way you will so-”

“Keith.” Lance urged him, looking as desperate and anxious as Keith felt.

Keith looked up from his hands to gaze properly at his best friend’s face. Lance’s ocean eyes were incredibly blue, holding the specks of grey that reminded him of sea foam. He hadn’t known when they gravitated so close, but they were barely a foot apart. Even without the proximity, Keith could see a tenderness among the anticipation in Lance’s face. Something fond and eager. In his peripheral, he noticed Lance’s chest moving up and down with the heave of his breaths. His best friend almost seemed as nervous as Keith.

“Lance… I-I… Uh, you…” He sighed at himself. There were no prepared words, only how he felt. And as many feelings as he had inside him, it seemed as though it was a little harder putting them into words than just feeling them.

Keith allowed the fondness he felt to show on his face. Hopefully that would help get his point across. It sure as hell felt freeing, at least. To be able to look at Lance with the emotions he had, not holding back anymore. Eyes impossibly soft, nearly pleading with how entirely gone he was for his best friend. He licked his lips, not missing the way the movement captured Lance’s attention momentarily.

_ Lance. _

God, Keith loved him. Entirely, truly, sickeningly. How was he supposed to love anyone else when there was a guy as wonderful as Lance in the world? It wasn’t possible. Keith didn’t understand how Lance didn’t see it in the way he looked at him. Then again, Keith himself wasn’t well-versed in the wordless language of love. But even so, who else would Keith have loved all these years? There was no one but Lance. It would  _ always  _ be him.

Keith’s heart thudded relentlessly in his chest as he looked into his best friend’s wonderfully blue eyes. His chest heaved with every purposeful breath. Lance was so close he could feel the heat of his best friend’s body emanating off him. A heat he desperately wanted to feel.

A fervor coursed through him, surging him with an adrenaline that told him to just say it. To let his feelings out into the world for the open air to take them. For Lance to hear.  _ Finally _ .

“It’s you.” Keith breathed, maintaining eye contact with his best friend even though he was terrified. But as soon as the two words escaped his lips, even though Keith felt as nauseous as ever, it was entirely exhilarating. It hadn’t been as eloquent as he had hoped, but he got it out.

His best friend’s face usually wasn’t difficult to read, but all Keith could make out was the slight surprise masked behind the seriousness of his demeanor.

“Me?” Lance whispered, eyes searching Keith’s for any trace of a joke or lie.

Keith nodded, still looking into Lance’s blue depths. “I love you.” The words left his lips with such an effortless sincerity that Keith wondered how he hadn’t done it ages ago. His chest sprouted with trails of warmth and bittersweet pangs. Relief filled his lungs and pushed off the weight he’d been carrying. God, it felt  _ so  _ good. He took a breath. “I-I have for a long time… Longer than even  _ I _ knew.” He smiled softly, breathing a laugh. “I love you, Lance. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I-I completely understand if you don’t want to-”

Lance’s lips were on his before he had a chance to finish his sentence.

It was a welcomed interruption. Keith embraced the rush of Lance’s lips in the only way he could: entirely willingly. Soft lips moved against his with a familiar rhythm that was somehow intensely different. The same passion ignited their insides and fed their movements, but it was more than it had been before.

Perhaps it was the relief of being able to kiss Lance without an ounce of guilt. His feelings were out in the open. He didn’t have to lie anymore. He was allowed to be authentic in his actions. Honest. And Keith’s honesty was fiercely confirmed in the way he kissed Lance back.

His heart ached with sweet pangs as he felt Lance kiss him with an intensity that easily matched his own. God, it was something else completely, kissing Lance without restraint.

His best friend’s lips were enticingly unrelenting in how they worked against Keith’s. It was obvious that he, too, wasn’t holding back anymore. Not that Keith had even thought Lance had been holding back before. Their previous kisses were always full of unexpected passion, so how had Lance  _ still  _ been able to surprise Keith with his eager affection?

The answer was in the way their lips glided against each other’s. In the way Lance’s arms wrapped around Keith, pulling him against him. In the way Keith returned the favor by grabbing fistfulls of Lance’s shirt in an attempt to help aid his best friend in bringing them impossibly close. In the way they breathlessly kissed each other, puffs of desperate air entering and escaping their nostrils as mouths were being used for better things.

Keith nearly drowned in Lance’s affection.

Though the pace of fervor slowed as his best friend seemed to loosen his grip on Keith, still holding him tenderly, but with less desperation. Their kiss turned sensually slow, making way for intimate ease.

The leisurely pace didn’t make it any less amorous. If anything, it was almost the opposite. Their mutual passion was expressed thoroughly with the slow opened-mouth kisses. It was something that allowed for Keith to feel absolutely  _ everything  _ Lance was putting into it.

It had him nearly chasing Lance’s escaping lips with a desperation he had to shut down before it overcame his entire self.

Lance smiled at Keith’s hungry lips trying to capture his own once again. And Lance being the benevolent best friend that he was, granted him a final, delicate kiss. One that could only be considered a velvety touch of lips. But Lance was kind enough to let his bottom lip sensually drag against Keith’s before pulling away completely.

“Fuck.” Keith whispered, nearly breathless.

“Sorry,” Lance sounded wonderfully low as he looked down at Keith with an impossibly affectionate gaze. “I couldn’t let you finish that sentence. I knew it was going to be some self-sacrificing offer that I would never agree to anyway.” He grinned, revealing beautiful canines that enraptured Keith’s attention.

He couldn’t help but think about how delicious they’d feel on his neck… 

Keith snapped out of his brief fantasy to look up, meeting Lance’s starry gaze. And all he could do was say how he felt. “I love you.” Keith breathed, feeling the words just roll off his tongue. “I fucking love you, Lance.” He nearly laughed as his chest heaved with his feelings. It felt entirely satisfying to say. “I’ve loved you for so long and I can’t believe you just kissed me knowing that.” He shook his head with a small smile forming on his face.

Lance laughed, leaning down to rest his forehead against Keith’s. “Keith, you beautiful goof, I love you too.”

A gush of warmth burst inside of Keith, spreading throughout his body. His heart tingled as electricity coursed across his skin. Lance loved him  _ too _ . He  _ loved  _ him. He should’ve known in the way Lance kissed him after his own confession, but there really was nothing like hearing the words straight out of his best friend's mouth. It solidified it. 

It made it  _ real _ .

“You do?” Keith whispered, feeling an overwhelming happiness flitting about inside him.

All of Keith’s previous worries seemed to dissipate. The little things that nagged at him, the intense feelings of guilt, the serious subjects deserving of worry were even obliterated. His friendship wasn’t ruined. Lance was still there in front of him, saying he  _ loved  _ him. 

All he could do was focus on his best friend.

Lance laughed beautifully as he sat up straight with one of his trademark grins. It was entirely infectious, causing Keith’s own smile to widen. “How could I not?” He gently took Keith’s hands. “You’re fucking wonderful. My _best_ friend in the entirety of the cosmos! Not to mention, I’m incredibly attracted to you.”—Keith blushed furiously—“But really, I’ve never felt closer to another human being. You ground me in a way that never quashes the dreamer in me. Your presence alone inspires me! I think it was impossible for me to _not_ fall in love with you, Keith.”

“I-I… fuck.” Keith was floating.

With every erratic beat of his heart, an intense warmth thundered in his chest. He was totally consumed in everything that was Lance, diving off a high board and into the ocean that was his love for his best friend. Keith was back in that metaphorical water, letting himself slip under. His own confession had loosened his muscles, allowing him to relax and accept his feelings. But Lance’s words… Lance gave him the ability to breathe. Freely, fully under the ocean that represented his love.

It was freeing. His own figurative waters no longer held the restrictions that had amplified his worries previously. In the beginning, he had just learned to swim, refusing to acknowledge his prominent feelings by keeping his head above it. Then, kissing Lance had pushed him to his very limits. He nearly drowned in the feelings he had been holding back, had still not told his best friend about. Now, he felt comfortable in the depths.

His best friend was his lifeline. Lance’s confession gave him the air he desperately needed to stay under. To live with his feelings without drowning. To love Lance without hurting. Without guilt.

To love with love in return.

Lance’s words were not something he had ever thought he’d hear. He never imagined  _ he  _ was the guy Lance had been obsessed with… Keith blinked a couple times. “Wait,  _ I  _ was the guy you were scared to confess to?  _ Me _ ? _ I _ was the one who backed away when you made advances?” Which, to be honest, he could definitely see himself being that idiot, but he just had to make sure that Lance had actually been making advances.

“Man.” Lance chuckled, leaning back on the couch a bit. “You’re cute as hell, but you sure are dense.” He teased. “I offered to  _ kiss you  _ whenever you wanted.” He shook his head. “Which you only called in once, by the way. Every other time I had to kiss you first. A little unfair if you ask me. I only have so much confidence to throw away.” Lance smiled.

Keith couldn’t help the giddy smile forming on his face. He jokingly rolled his eyes at his best friend before leaning in to kiss him. Lance returned the soft, velvety kiss with as much adoration as Keith put into it. They parted with a look that clearly stated neither really wanted to pull away, but they did anyway. “Better?” Keith moved to sit back, but Lance’s arms caught him. Keeping him gently pressed against his chest.

Lance tried to hide his smirk as he gave an inquisitive look, hands caressing the curves of Keith’s back and arms grasped tightly around him. “Hmmm, make it a regular occurrence and I’ll say we’re even.”

Keith briefly flicked his eyes to Lance’s beautiful lips before answering. “That’s only fair.” He coolly agreed as a telling bright grin spread across his face.

He couldn’t help but show how he was feeling now that he was allowed to. He could almost squeal with happiness really-

“Aaaaahhhh,” Lance groaned with a giddy smile, pulling Keith down onto the couch cushions with him. Keith reflexively grasped Lance’s shirt as they fell together. Once they were in a comfortable cuddling position, Keith relaxed, wrapping his arms around his best friend fully. Lance huffed a laugh. “I can’t believe we love each other! Aaaahhhh, I’m sorry.” Lance buried his head in Keith’s chest. Keith smiled down at him. He was feeling the exact same way. “I just can’t believe it.” Lance mumbled, then leaned back to look Keith in the eyes. “I mean, I had  _ hoped  _ I was the one you loved, but I couldn’t be  _ sure _ . I couldn’t just assume something like that.”

Keith smiled fondly at his best friend. “Me either. I was fucking  _ terrified  _ of how my confession would even effect our friendship. If you’d even, uh, want to be around me…” Keith felt his face drop.

Lance squeezed his hold on Keith briefly as he smiled gently at him. “Even if I didn’t love you romantically, I’d always be your best friend. There was never a doubt in my mind that I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life.”

Keith swallowed. “Uh, does that mean since you  _ do  _ love me…” Keith paused briefly, shaking his head with a smile. It was still such a crazy conception to him. “T-that we’re  _ more  _ than best friends now?”

“I don’t know.” Lance feigned a contemplative look. “Lemme ask the love of my life real quick.” He smirked at Keith. “Hey bestie, wanna be my boyfriend?” He quirked his eyebrows in that Lance way of his.

Keith laughed at his best friend, completely enjoying his dorky display. “I suppose I always did enjoy your companionship.” He grinned and leaned in to kiss his boyfriend.

Keith quickly learned that kissing Lance would never get old. It would somehow always feel even more wonderful than the last. Full of passion, adoration, and intense love. The feelings were always impossibly growing. Even when Keith had thought he couldn’t possibly love Lance any more, there were his feelings surging again, proving the unimaginable. So he kissed his boyfriend with the everlasting, unfathomably vast feelings he held for him.

They leaned back to gaze into each other’s eyes. 

In that romantic way that was completely compulsory for someone who looked at the person they loved, knowing they loved them back.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Lance grinned.

“I’m just glad you’re finally okay with me having a boyfriend.” Keith teased.

“Okay, I was definitely being selfish by wanting to keep you to myself before.” Lance admitted, recalling the conversation that started it all. “I should’ve just asked you out then and there honestly.” He smiled fondly.

“Hey, we got here eventually.” Keith’s cheeks hurt from being so grossly happy. “It only took me avoiding you for a while, then us finally hanging out only to halfway confess to each other, then a whole lot of suffering within myself, resulting in a decision to actually tell you how I feel only for you to return the favor and ask me out.” He shrugged. “At least it ended well.”

Lance pulled Keith closer as he cuddled him. “Nothing’s ended. It’s just another beginning.”

Keith rested his head in the crook of his boyfriend’s shoulder. “I suppose it is.” He breathed in, enjoying the way Lance smelled. It was so entirely  _ him _ , which was extremely comforting. After all, Lance was his home.

“I have a question.” Lance placed his cheek uptop Keith’s head.

“Shoot.” Keith swung one of his legs over Lance’s body, situating himself more comfortably as he cuddled closer to his boyfriend. Their times cuddling as friends really prepared them. They knew how well they fit together. Knew what positions were most comfortable. Knew they fiercely enjoyed the close contact. It was intimate, comforting. It was the perfect way to have a conversation with his boyfriend.

Keith could already hear Lance’s irresistible smirk.

“When did you start liking me?” He questioned.

Oh yes, when  _ had  _ Keith started liking Lance? It had to be before they graduated, because it was their senior year when Keith  _ realized  _ his feelings. When just the thought of having to part ways with his best friend had his heart aching. When he realized his tears were about more than just losing a friend.

“Uh, high school, I suppose.” He leaned back to examine his boyfriend’s beautiful face. 

“That’s too vague. Like what year? Semester?” Lance seemed a bit excited.

Keith huffed a laugh. “Uh, I’m not sure. I just remember  _ realizing  _ it senior year.”

“Damn.” Lance breathed, staring at the ceiling.

“Why?” Keith searched his boyfriend’s face for any possible answers.

Lance smiled, eyes still glued to the ceiling. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to say I liked you first then.”

Keith couldn’t hide his surprise. “Don’t tease me.” He chided.

Lance turned his face to look straight in Keith’s eyes. “I’m not.” His eyes were dancing with an excited fondness. “I’ve liked you since sophomore year. Christmas break.”

Keith gently raised his brows in surprise. He couldn’t help the warmth resonating in his chest. “So specific.” 

Lance liked him from that long ago? It was almost unbelievable. In fact, Keith wouldn’t have believed it if it hadn’t come from Lance. There was no way. Keith thought he’d been the only one suffering since high school. It didn’t entirely make sense. Lance never really showed it. 

Though, to be fair, neither did he.

“It was a pretty defining moment for me.” Lance sweetly kissed Keith’s forehead, who just melted in his grasp. “I mean, I never had trouble falling asleep with a friend before that. But when you came over and slept in my bed with me… God, it took me hours to fall asleep,” he smiled at the memory, “and even then I kept waking up afraid I was going to take all your covers o-or  _ kiss you _ in my sleep.” Lance chuckled. “It sounds so dumb now, but I really-”

“It’s not dumb at all. You’re adorable.” Keith sighed dreamily. “You really felt that way about  _ me _ ? All the way back  _ then _ ?”

“I couldn’t help it. You stole my heart and then ran with it, Keith Kogane.” Lance smiled fondly at him.

“Why are you being so cute? I can only handle so much in one day!” Keith buried his face in Lance’s chest, truly flustered. He felt the vibrations of Lance laughing.

“Then I definitely shouldn’t tell you when I fell in love with you.” Lance teased.

Keith sighed at himself. He was so weak. “I mean… if you  _ want  _ to tell me…”

Lance smirked. “It was a month into senior year. You asked me where I was gonna apply for college, and all I could think of was ‘wherever you’re applying’. I didn’t say that out loud, of course. I had to find out on my own and apply without telling you, otherwise I knew you’d tell me to not sacrifice my potential by following you.”

“That’s probably true. I definitely would’ve said that had you followed me to a crap school.” Keith admitted.

“Yeah, I think what helped you accept it when you finally found out was that a lot of the people we know and love are here too. They wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t a good place of learning.” Lance added. “But it was just in the weeks after that that had me really thinking about how much you meant to me. I realized I couldn’t imagine a life where you weren’t with me. That my little crush was very quickly turning into something way more serious than anything I’d ever felt before. It’s cheesy, but I really felt like we were meant to be together forever. Not even romantically. Just whatever you wanted, because I’m that in love with you.” Lance smiled as he shrugged a shoulder. “I think I only recently really considered telling you, because god damn, Keith… I’m  _ so  _ in love with you. It was starting to eat away at me.” He gazed fondly at his boyfriend, then cleared his throat. “I tried, uh, distracting myself… but it never really worked out.”

“Oh, yeah.” Keith recalled how Lance started really partying hard when they first got to college. Even up until a couple months ago. “I thought you were just giving every attractive person the good ole college  _ try _ .” Keith teased. Lance leaned over to bite Keith’s shoulder in retaliation. Keith couldn’t help that it turned him on, but he pretended that it hurt. “Ow, dude.” He laughed. “I’m just kidding.” He pushed his boyfriend off him before he really jumped him. They were having a really great conversation that Keith didn’t want to get distracted from. Yet. 

“I already told you it was a bad coping mechanism. I didn’t want to risk losing you, so I did some stupid shit before I realized nothing would help. Nothing but actually getting to be with you, which I thought would be completely impossible.” Lance confessed.

“You and me both. I hid my feelings for so long, because I didn’t want to ruin what we had.” Keith huffed a disbelieving laugh. “I didn't even want to admit it to myself that I love you. I felt like somehow I was betraying your trust.”

“Keith.” Lance smiled at him gently. “Your feelings aren’t some betrayal. Loving someone isn’t treasonous, and if it is it’s probably not love. Sure, with friends it may feel like we’re taking that trust we have for each other and abusing it, knowing our feelings, but you never forced me to do anything. It’s not like you were using our friendship to get things. We were just how we always were. If anything, I took advantage of  _ you _ . I kissed you first all the-”

“Okay, I get it. I understand what you’re saying, but there’s no way in hell you took advantage of me. You offered to kiss me whenever  _ I  _ wanted, then  _ I  _ kissed you first. You just took the initiative the other times, but I always kissed back.” Keith lifted his hand to caress the side of his boyfriend’s face. “I love you. And, crazy enough, you love me too. That’s pretty fucking great.” He smiled.

Lance pulled Keith’s hand off his face to gently kiss it. “Yeah, it  _ is  _ pretty fucking great.”

“Though,” Keith added. “You  _ knew  _ you liked me since sophomore year and still flirted with everyone you could find as long as it was in front of me? Kind of an asshole move. You have no idea how that killed me. I think it actually helped in keeping myself in denial. So, I don’t know whether I should thank you or say fuck you since it took that much longer for me to work out the complex emotions going on inside me.”

Lance groaned, disappointed in himself. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I think it was my stupid way of trying to get your attention. Like, yeah, we were best friends, but the kind of attention I was looking for from you was a different kind. I guess a part of me wanted you to notice me as a potential partner, and apparently my way of doing that was showing you how likeable I was.” Lance huffed a laugh. “But damn, I will say you were not easy to impress.”

Keith sat up slightly, looking down at Lance. “Are you kidding? Lance, you’ve done nothing but impress me since I’ve met you.”

“You can’t just say that because we’re dating now. You don’t have to lie to me. I know I was just some dumb kid.” Lance shook his head.

Keith grimaced. “I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed to talk about my boyfriend like that.”

Lance huffed a laugh. “Fair enough. But, I mean, you were always so stoic, and I understood that’s just a part of who you are, but I couldn’t help trying to get a reaction out of you still. I suppose a part of me also wanted to see if I could make you jealous. I was a little shit.”

“On that, I agree.” Keith smirked.

“What happened to not talking about your boyfriend like that?!”

“You were the one trying to make your best friend jealous by being completely insensitive to the feelings they could’ve potentially had. You just don’t do that. It’s probably the best way for someone to never admit their feelings to you when you make it so clear that you’re interested in everyone but them.” Keith chided.

“Yeah.” Lance nodded. “That’s a good point. I wish I realized that back then. I’m sorry I was an asshole.” He apologized.

“Not to mention that you’re like super touchy, dude.” Keith added, now that he was on the topic of ways Lance really fucked with him. “When I finally realized my feelings it helped me understand why you constantly clinging to me frustrated me so much. I never hated it per say, but I did hate that I couldn’t understand myself. And while realizing my feelings helped that aspect, knowing how I felt made you touching me even harder to ignore.” Keith let go of a laugh. “God, looking back, it all seems so stupid. But I guess I couldn’t help how I felt.”

Lance frowned. “I’m sorry I caused you that turmoil.” He squeezed Keith’s hand. “I guess it wasn’t a thing I really thought about. I’m a pretty touchy person in general, but whenever I was around you I just  _ really  _ wanted to touch you. Pat your back. Grab your hand. Hug you. Cuddle you. Anything that I could. I definitely touched you waaaayy more than I touched anyone else, though. I’m surprised you didn’t notice.”

Keith shrugged. “I just figured it was because we were best friends. It was just how you were.”

“I mean, that was part of it. But it was most definitely, because I liked you. I just love touching you.” Lance’s voice lowered as he pulled Keith even closer to him.

Keith felt little butterflies tickling his heart and abdomen at the pressure of his boyfriend’s hands. “Well, we’re dating now, so it’s not really an issue anymore.” He smirked.

“Don’t distract me,” Lance laughed as he pulled Keith closer to kiss his neck, sending a thrilling shock through Keith. Unfortunately, his lips parted from Keith’s sensitive skin in order to continue talking. “I still have more questions.”

Keith rolled his eyes playfully at his cute boyfriend. “Like what?”

Lance swallowed. “I just wanted to know when, uh,  _ you  _ fell in love with  _ me _ .” He smiled cutely as his tan cheeks tinted with a beautiful red.

Keith really couldn’t believe how incredibly charming his boyfriend was. “I feel like my answer is gonna disappoint you.”

“Oh, come on. Please? I told you mine.” Lance pouted.

Keith let out a laugh at the adorable expression. “Well, I didn’t even admit it to myself until recently, so I’ll just have to take a guess as to  _ when _ .” He thought for a moment, searching his memory as best as he could. There were really too many things that Keith could think of. Too many instances where he remembered feeling his heart yearning for his best friend. But he made his best guess. “I suppose it started around senior year as well. I mean, that was when I  _ realized  _ my feelings. But liking you is such an easy transitioning step to loving you, so it couldn’t have been long after that. I don’t think it was any defined moment. Just a lot of little things over time.” He shrugged. “Like there was the summer before starting college when we took our first road trip with Hunk and Pidge together. When you told me that I always had a place in your home. With your family. With you.” Keith smiled as his heart warmed. “I mean, it was a lot of things. But that memory holds very vivid feelings for me.” Keith rested his hand over his heart absentmindedly. “And when you finally told me you were going to the same college as me I… I think I definitely almost kissed you then. I wrote it off as me just being excited, but damn was I happy.” Keith turned his head to grin at Lance. “I mean, there’s really just a million different moments for me. And there still will be. Like right now… I love you, but with every moment that passes my love for you grows. Somehow. It feels like it should be impossible, because my heart is already so full. But I just keep falling in love with you more and more each day.”

“God damn, I love you.” Lance breathed desperately before taking Keith’s lips with his own.

Keith breathed in deeply, receiving his boyfriend’s kiss with an eager desire coursing inside him. Loving Lance was one of the most rewarding things he ever had the pleasure of experiencing. Even if it had been entirely distressing for a while. It was worth it. He couldn’t even begin to fathom how he got so lucky.

He loved his best friend, and for some wonderful reason, his best friend loved him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so altogether a little more than 20k like I had thought this fic was gonna be… but worth it. Thanks for sticking with it and reading! I thoroughly enjoyed writing this piece. It was entirely self-indulgent, like everything I write, but I hope you received some joy out of it as well. I’m an angsty, pining bish. So sorry for everything, but I regret nothing mwhahaahaha No, well, I do apologize for making it drag on for so long haha
> 
> Thank you so freaking much for reading, I appreciate you <3
> 
> Also, I’m working on a SMUT ONESHOT for this if you’re interested :D I will be updating about it on my tumblr, so if you feel inclined… https://ryderwryter.tumblr.com/
> 
> Thank you for everything and don’t forget to love yourself <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! :) 
> 
> my tumblr if you're interested <3: https://ryderwryter.tumblr.com/


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